(Photo: ABC)

+ Teeny-tiny Grey's Anatomy star Chyler Leigh has announced that she's pregnant with her third child. We're torn between saying "Congratulations!" and sending her a card that says "Wait, you've had two kids?! You're giving us a MAJOR weight complex, lady." (Usmagazine.com)

+ Ed Westwick/Chuck Bass admits he was too starstruck to introduce himself to soccer star David Beckham at a recent partay. In related news, we once saw Ed Westwick/Chuck Bass on the street, then awkwardly/conspicuously turned and hid behind the nearest telephone pole. True story. (Radar)

+ Former Top Model winner Eva Pigford (now, apparently, Eva Marcille) is reportedly engaged to her boyfriend/House of Payne costar Lance Gross. Yeah, something tells us she'll be holding onto her (new) maiden name for a while. (Essence via Us)

+ Kendra Wilkinson says she and her linebacker fiance will be getting hitched at the Playboy mansion, a.k.a. her old stomping grounds, but she hasn't decided whether her grandpa-aged ex, Hugh Hefner, will be walking her down the aisle. Because, you know, THAT would be the weird part. (Reality TV World)

• Playboy founder Hugh Hefner sees Britney Spears' wholesome family Christmas card, and raises her two topless twins. Because nothing says "Merry Christmukkah" quite like two naked chicks posing with an octogenarian porn peddler. 'Tis the season! (HuffPo)

• Meanwhile, Hef's ex, Holly Madison, says she plans to propose to her new illusionist boyfriend, Criss Angel. Levitation ... it gets the ladies every time! Well, that and not being old enough to need a catheter. (Usmagazine.com)

• Courteney Cox says she comes from a broken home and she and hubby David Arquette ain't gettin' no dee-vorce. Got that? (Usmagazine.com)

• Funnylady Amy Poehler put on her thinking cap and came up with these homemade webisodes of Smart Girls At The Party, a web-only series that reminds us of The View, only with prepubescent girls instead of Elisabeth Hasselbeck. (E! Online)

• NBC is reportedly having trouble unloading those obscenely-priced Super Bowl ads this year. On the plus side, this means we might actually go five minutes without seeing that annoying dude from the FreeCreditReport.com commercials. Score! (Yahoo! News, via TV Squad)

+ Playboy founder Hugh Hefner feigns enthusiasm over his fake ex-girlfriend's pending nuptials. (Usmagazine.com)

+ Meanwhile, Hef's sons prove they're completely unworthy of inheriting their father's Playboy dynasty. "I'm not going to have multiple girlfriends — not at the same time," sez 18-year-old Marston Hefner. "I can't imagine that." (Defamer)

+ OMG, did bratty Upper East Sider Blair Waldorf (real-identity: Leighton Meester) just "secretly" (read: not-so-secretly) get engaged to her hot, but slightly-effeminate-looking bf?? Survey says ... no. (Usmagazine.com)

+ Meanwhile, even Gossip Girl author Cecily von Ziegesar hates Serena's pretentious/arty boyfriend, Aaron. "He’s so slimy! He’s just … ick." Agreed! Also, anyone else thinks it's strange that his dad just HAPPENS to be the same dude who married Blair's mom? (Gawker)

+ For some strange reason, Mark Schwahn, (creator of craptastic CW show One Tree Hill) has been assigned to write/ruin the revamped Melrose Place pilot. (TV Watch)

+ Recession alert! You know you're on the brink of economic disaster/full-scale depression when even snotty rich people (like Jeana Keough, right, from The Real Housewives of Orange County) are cutting down on their crazy expenditures. (E! Online)

+ Note to former 'NSYNCer Joey Fatone -- Next time you feel like slamming the DWTS contestants for being tacky, you probably shouldn't follow it up by sitting on a toilet in the middle of Times Square. 'Kay? (Page Six, Best Week Ever)

+ Meanwhile, could the Dancing with the Stars judges BE any more in love with finalist Brooke Burke? "You're the one that we all want," said judge Bruno Toniolo following Burke's Grease-inspired freestyle number. Awww/ewww! (NY Daily News)

+ Former SNL funnyman Horatio Sanz is virtually unrecognizable now that he's embraced the power of the tweed blazer lost upwards of 80 pounds. (Scandalist)

+ The Girls Next Door get all hatted up for the Kentucky Derby! Fun fact: Kendra Wilkinson had to have her giant straw monstrosity custom-made because her head's "gigantic." (TV Watch)

• Girls Next Door star Holly Madison gives us icky mental pictures (and ickier real-life pictures) of her swapping spit with her new Albino boyfriend, Criss Angel. (Scandalist)

• Steve Martin has just been announced as 30 Rock's latest desperate ploy for ratings celeb guest star. Hooray! (E! Online)

• Sarah Palin pardons one lucky Wasilla turkey while the bird's not-so-lucky brethren meet an untimely death at the slaughterhouse. Also, peep that (newly purchased?) Burberry scarf! (BuzzFeed)

• Kathie Lee Gifford is the best/worst Today Show host ever! (Defamer)

• Ashley Dupre's belated heart-to-heart with Diane Sawyer makes us nostalgic for the days when "Client 9" jokes were all the rage. (Gawker)

• You can't blame Isaiah Washington (f.k.a. Dr. Burke) for joining the OMG, Grey's Hates Gays!! bandwagon. 'Course, his critique of the show's decision to fire Dr. Hahn would carry more weight if he weren't a) previously fired for his own latent homophobia, and (b) simultaneously begging Shonda Rhimes for his old job. (Usmagazine.com)

• Jumpin' Joe Scarborough is so excited about Barack Obama's clean campaign he's dropping F-bombs on MSNBC. Take that, FCC mother-f***ers! (HuffPo)

• Holly Madison is hoping to be a bridesmaid at Kendra Wilkinson's nuptials. Meanwhile, we're just hoping Hugh Hefner isn't the one giving her away. Hey, he was her (sugar) daddy... (People)

• Knight Rider to fire three of its series regulars (Bruce Davison, Sydney Tamiia Poitier, and Yancey Arias) and replace them with an onslaught of Hail, Mary celeb cameos. (Yahoo! News)

• NBC gives new "Life" to that "quirky detective show" that's nobody's ever seen. (TV Squad)

• Apparently, Kim Cattrall's SATC sequel talk was all a bit premature. "I'm thrilled to know Kim is excited, but all the deals are not yet done," sez series star Sarah Jessica Parker. Hmm, guess Samantha just got Carrie-d away? (Access Hollywood)

• SNL's Kenan Thompson doesn't think Tina Fey will be reprising her role as Sarah Palin. At least, not until, oh, 2012... (OMG! Yahoo!)

• Mr. Man has a name! Sam Perry, best known as The Guy Who Oprah Snotted All Over During Obama's Acceptance Speech, swung by Oprah's show the other day to send her a dry-cleaning bill tell her he had no hard feelings. (Usmagazine.com)

• Meanwhile, Oprah's bathroom shocker! The talk show host describes her first ev Port-A-Potty experience. (Dlisted)

• Holly Madison and Criss Angel continue to flaunt their newfound coupledom in front of our faces. (E! Online)

• Also?? Fellow Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson is engaged to a football star! Guess her pretending-to-be-Hef's-girlfriend contract was up, too. (Yahoo! News)

(Photo: ABC)

• You know how Misty May-Treanor had to leave Dancing with the Stars after destroying her ankle? Well, good news! Already-eliminated DWTS contestant Kim Kardashian has graciously offered to take her place on the show! Awww, that should TOTALLY help ease the pain of May's potentially career-ending injury. (Scandalist)

• Hmm, guess Khloe Kardashian's sis wasn't all that "relieved" to be done with Dancing after all... (TV Watch)

• On tonight's Grey's Anatomy, McDreamy and Meredith's cohabitation talk leads to a disaster of biblical proportions. Sigh. If only there were some sort of sign... (E! Online)

• Okay, fine, Victoria Beckham isn't exactly a reality tv star (unless you count that thankfully short-lived NBC miniseries.) But we'd be remiss if we didn't tell you that her can't-live-without beauty secret is....a skin cream "derived from nightingale poo." (Daily Mail - UK)

• OMG, Holly Madison and Hugh Hefner are officially no longer sleeping together! Well, assuming they ever really were. (Usmagazine.com)

• Get ready for the premiere of Bravo's The Real Housewives of Atlanta tonight. Here's to hoping one of the leading ladies is a pretentious underwear-model-turned-Duchess! (LA Times)