• Eliot Spitzer's personal escort, Ashley Dupre, wants to formally apologize to the former NYC governor's wife, Silda. Sadly, we're not sure Hallmark makes a "Sorry a shtooped your hubby" card. At least, not yet! (NY Post)

• Semi-famous funnylady Kathy Griffin confirms that there's another season of D-List in the works. Bring it, KG! (Usmagazine.com)

• Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman are either back together -- or else they're the kinda best friendsies who hug and kiss a lot. (E! Online)

• DWTS' Julianne Hough doesn't care what the judges/fans think about her just-eliminated-partner Cody Linley: "He's a winner to me," she says. (We think she means it in the metaphorical sense.) (OMG Yahoo!)

• Anyone else think Hottie McHotterson Megan Fox can do better than David Silver from 90210? (Scandalist)

• This just in: presidential hopeful John McCain to spend the last Saturday before next week's elections on SNL! With luck, his performance fall somewhere in the realm of Better Than The Last Time and Worse Than Sarah Palin. Only this time around, we're thinking he should lose the whole 'Haha, I'm really old' shtick. (People)

• Apparently, Sarah Silverman's appearance on her ex-boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel's late night talk show made for some pretty awkward moments! Yep, didn't see that one coming... (Usmagazine.com)

• What happens when the Girls Next Door move out of the neighborhood? We're not sure, but rumor has it Hef's girls Holly and Kendra are in search of new digs. (Usmagazine.com)

• The first rule of TV 101: If you're gonna make a show called Cougar Town, you must (we repeat, MUST) get Courteney Cox to star in it. Capiche? (The Insider)

• And speaking of cougars, word has it there's already a Melrose spinoff in the works! We're just hoping Amanda Woodward's still rocking three-inch roots -- and dressed like some sort of high-class, boardroom hooker. (Fox News)

• 30 Rock star Tracy Morgan's leaving the dimly-lit world of strip clubs behind...but that doesn't mean he can't still get his money's worth... (NY Daily News)

Until recently, we only knew three things about Tila Tequila's new-ish squeeze, Courtenay Semel:

1) She's the daughter of former Yahoo! CEO, Terry Semel.
2) She could totally place first in a Sarah Silverman Lookalike Contest
3) She doesn't seem to have any issues with PDA on the red carpet. (See: Every Picture Ever Taken)

And now, thanks to TMZ and WebProNews, we have a fourth item to add to our list:

4) Courtenay is, evidently, the kinda gal who goes around screaming obscenities at poor, defenseless Vegas security guards. According to recent reports, Semel had this to say to Jaroslaw Jarczok (a.k.a. the man working security at PURE nightclub):

“Do you even know who I am, f@#king idiot? . . . Google me, you dumb f@#k.”

Unfortunately for Semel, Jarczok did! And, presumably, he quickly discovered that she was worth oodles and oodles of money. Which would explain why he then slapped her with a lawsuit (That's 5 things!) faster than you can say "Cha-ching!" on the grounds that he is now (and this is a direct quote) "anxious about receiving harassing comments by friends."

Awwwww, tough break, Courtenay. But on the plus side? You can pretty much bet that Jarczok will never, ever forget your name again.

• OMG, Nathan and Brooke (i.e. James Lafferty and Sophia Bush) from One Tree Hill are totally dating! Which is really, really exciting for the .005% of you who still watch the CW -- and know that Sophia was briefly (but memorably!) married to the show's other star, Chad Michael Murray. (E! Online)

• Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel might be broken up (at least, for now) but that's not stopping her from popping by her ex's late night show. (Usmagazine.com)

• Elisabeth Hasselbeck isn't enjoying The View of Joy Behar these days. Word has it, she and the "comedienne" are taking a cue from angry 7th grade girls everywhere and giving each other the silent treatment. Which, perhaps, explains why Hasselback's suddenly unhappy with her role as the show's token conservative. (Fox News)

• You know that old saying ("One man's trash is another man's treasure")? Yeah, we always thought that was neat. Oh, and in completely unrelated news, Jessica Simpson's latest straight-to-DVD movie here in the States is apparently #1 at the box office in Russia. (Scandalist)

• Michelle Obama tells Jay Leno she's not a fashionista -- like, oh, we don't know, Sarah "Clothes Horse" Palin. (Jezebel)

• Until now, Celebrity Apprentice has always been sort of a guilty pleasure. But Donald Trump's stepped it up this year by getting hold of some legitimate (albeit minor) celebrities. Joan Rivers...Dennis Rodman...Tom Green?? Holy crap, we've actually heard of these people! (TMZ)

• Opera-singing insurance agent Neal E. Boyd proves America really does have talent. (Usmagazine.com)

• Has Project Runway gotten cattier? We're not sure, but we're kinda loving how Nina Garcia dissed Kenley's dress by saying: "It looks like a reptile, but not in a cool way." (E! Online)

• You don't have to go on a gay cruise to catch Rosie O'Donnell's act anymore - the former View costar just inked a deal to host a one-night only NBC variety show. (Hollywood Reporter)

• Apparently, Aussies don't share our Brenda/Kelly nostalgia. 90210 has been yanked down under after only four measly episodes. (Perez Hilton)

• VMAs host Russell Brand has a new show on Comedy Central! Which still doesn't explain why he's so interested in scoring Sarah Silverman's breast milk. (The Sun - UK)

• Tina Fey returns to SNL to play Alaskan MILF/vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. Not surprisingly, no hair/makeup changes were required. (NY Daily News)

• Cindy McCain has an epiphany of sorts, leading her to acknowledge something we realized several years ago: The View is a terrible, terrible show. (Usmagazine.com)

• Rumor has it there's a diva on the new 90210 set. And this time, it's not Shannen Doherty. (NY Post)

• Is Gossip Girls' Blair Waldorf powerless to resist that "Bass-hole?" (TV Watch)

• Kathy Griffin takes home her second Emmy for My Life on the D-List, while Sarah Silverman inexplicably wins some sort of made-up award for her passionate video love ballad, "I'm F---ing Matt Damon." (PopWatch)