As anyone who's seen Miss Congeniality knows, Miss United States isn't a beauty pageant ... it's a scholarship fund. And for these five women, walking away with the crown (and a hefty chunk of pocket change!) was just the beginning. In honor of today's MADE, read up on a few high profile ladies who used their pageant success to jump-start their careers!

If you followed the 2008 presidential elections, you might remember that Sarah Palin's got some old pageant gowns gathering dust in her closet. The former Miss Wasilla placed third in the Miss Alaska pageant in 1984, then went on to become Governor of Alaska (and VP nominee, don'tcha know)!

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• The View's Elisabeth Hasselbeck is expecting baby #3! No word yet on whether it'll be a boy or a girl, but know this: it WILL be born wearing a "Palin 2012" onesie. (Usmagazine.com)

• Anyone else think Miss Kentucky is looking a bit on the Sasquatchy/Joaquin Phoenix side? (Inquisitr via E!)

• Update! Alex McCord and Simon van Kempen (a.k.a. the annoying Brooklyn couple who ruined Girls' Night In on Real Housewives: NY) is STILL bragging about their prodigious unremarkable son, Francois. (TV Watch)

• American Idol apologizes for telling America that a kindly Southern man threatened to kill Paula Abdul. (Perez Hilton)

• On last night's Top Chef, Carla fretes, Fabio admits he'd "a-likka to knocka somebody offa" and Stefan finds out he's not as amazing as everybody he thinks he is. (Baltimore Sun Blog)

It's been nine months since Heidi Montag endorsed John McCain, six months since she grabbed lunch with McCain's daughter, Meghan, three months since she and Spencer got their pics taken wearing McCain-Palin tees and approximately 10 weeks since Republican nominee John McCain called Heidi out as his sole celeb supporter.

So natch, we were a teensy bit surprised when we saw Spencer and his betrothed show up on inaugural weekend wearing "Barack and Baroll" shirts, flashing big Barack-sized grins and giving left-leaning thumbs-ups all around.

Not that we're suggesting Speidi's newfound allegiance to Obama is highly suspect or anything  -- we're merely pointing out that those two picked a really, really, really good time to switch their party affiliation.

• Girls Next Door star Holly Madison gives us icky mental pictures (and ickier real-life pictures) of her swapping spit with her new Albino boyfriend, Criss Angel. (Scandalist)

• Steve Martin has just been announced as 30 Rock's latest desperate ploy for ratings celeb guest star. Hooray! (E! Online)

• Sarah Palin pardons one lucky Wasilla turkey while the bird's not-so-lucky brethren meet an untimely death at the slaughterhouse. Also, peep that (newly purchased?) Burberry scarf! (BuzzFeed)

• Kathie Lee Gifford is the best/worst Today Show host ever! (Defamer)

• Ashley Dupre's belated heart-to-heart with Diane Sawyer makes us nostalgic for the days when "Client 9" jokes were all the rage. (Gawker)

• Apparently, big stars don't always translate into big ratings (**except when your name is Oprah). Jennifer Aniston's episode of 30 Rock was the sitcom's lowest rated show this season. (E! Online)

• Rosie O'Donnell says she'd love to share a brewsky with Sarah Palin! But that doesn't mean O'Donnell wanted Palin anywhere near the Oval Office. "If [John] McCain won," says the former View cohost, "I would be in the depression unit of the ICU." (Usmagazine.com)

• MADE coach-turned-Bachelorette ex Jesse Csincsak says he and DeAnna Pappas are still friends despite the whole not-getting-married thing. But for now, he's taking things "one day at a time." (OK!)

• Holly Madison on stepping on her sugar daddy/employer Hugh Hefner with creepy magician/boyfriend Criss Angel: "I thought I'd be fired!" (Scandalist)

• Rumor has it Eliot Spitzer's callgirl, Ashley Dupre, may have had an on-camera heart-to-heart with Diane Sawyer. Hope she wasn't charging ABC by the hour! (Gawker)

• FYI, Sarah Palin will NOT be guest-starring on Desperate Housewives, okay? Also, that thing about her not knowing Africa's a continent? Yeah, apparently that was all just some sort of crazy hoax. Ah, rumors... (E! Online, NY Times)

• Reality tv takeover! Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson and bootiful DWTS castoff Kim Kardashian will reportedly be joining Spencer and Heidi in their How I Met Their Mother cameo. (People)

• Jamie-Lynn Sigler may have dumped Turtle for, um, divulging all the dirty deets on their relationship on last week's Entourage...but in real life, she and actor Jeremy Ferrara are said to be getting extremely cozy. And Jamie's keeping her mouth shut. (Usmagazine.com)

• Earlier this week, a woman who once auditioned for American Idol committed suicide in front of Paula Abdul's house. (E! Online)

• Nicole Richie and her former stylist Rachel Zoe appear to have patched things up! Huzzah! (Hollyscoop)

• Apparently, Kim Cattrall's SATC sequel talk was all a bit premature. "I'm thrilled to know Kim is excited, but all the deals are not yet done," sez series star Sarah Jessica Parker. Hmm, guess Samantha just got Carrie-d away? (Access Hollywood)

• SNL's Kenan Thompson doesn't think Tina Fey will be reprising her role as Sarah Palin. At least, not until, oh, 2012... (OMG! Yahoo!)

• Mr. Man has a name! Sam Perry, best known as The Guy Who Oprah Snotted All Over During Obama's Acceptance Speech, swung by Oprah's show the other day to send her a dry-cleaning bill tell her he had no hard feelings. (Usmagazine.com)

• Meanwhile, Oprah's bathroom shocker! The talk show host describes her first ev Port-A-Potty experience. (Dlisted)

• Holly Madison and Criss Angel continue to flaunt their newfound coupledom in front of our faces. (E! Online)

• Also?? Fellow Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson is engaged to a football star! Guess her pretending-to-be-Hef's-girlfriend contract was up, too. (Yahoo! News)

• "Rogue" governor (and possible 2012 presidential nominee??) Sarah Palin teared up during Senator John McCain's concession speech. Elsewhere, talk show host/Obamama Oprah Winfrey was reportedly "vibrating" with happiness over Barack's victory. Not to mention openly weeping. (Stereohyped)

• We always knew Chuck Bass was a sure thing -- but we had no idea he was also a SHOE thing. Either way, Ed Westwick's officially the new face (foot??) of K-Swiss! (Just Jared)

• Meanwhile, on this week's Gossip Girl, Little J. learns that the secret to instant tabloid notoriety is crashing a boring old-person party with Marissa Cooper's younger sis. (Gawker)

• Dr. McDreamy is super sad that his co-star, Brooke Smith was abruptly fired from Grey's Anatomy. That said, Patrick Dempsey's crazy Freudian slip made this sappy spot on Ellen a whole lot more interesting. (TV Watch)

• Plus, check out this sneak-peek of Dr. Erica Hahn's last ever episode of Grey's Anatomy. (E! Online)

• CNN's techies finally got to live out their Star Wars fantasies last night when they beamed in Will.i.am (Princess Leia style!) during the election coverage for no reason whatsoever. (Best Week Ever)

This weekend, presidential hopeful and self-declared "Sad Grandpa" John McCain swung by NBC's Saturday Night Live to show voters he has a sense of a humor -- and slightly above-average comedic timing. Fortunately for "Mac", the Republican had a little help from SNL vet Tina Fey, who donned a designer suit and a thick Alaskan accent to impersonate beehived/bespectacled hockey mom-turned-VP nominee, Sarah Palin.

The big shocker? Most of the good lines went to McCain, who artfully poked fun at his campaign's relative shortage of funds -- and celeb donors -- and even gave our very own Heidi Montag a shout-out! (Well, y'know, another one.) Anyhow, check out the video, then let us know whether you think Spencer should be jealous of Heidi's major "in" with the Senator...

• This just in: presidential hopeful John McCain to spend the last Saturday before next week's elections on SNL! With luck, his performance fall somewhere in the realm of Better Than The Last Time and Worse Than Sarah Palin. Only this time around, we're thinking he should lose the whole 'Haha, I'm really old' shtick. (People)

• Apparently, Sarah Silverman's appearance on her ex-boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel's late night talk show made for some pretty awkward moments! Yep, didn't see that one coming... (Usmagazine.com)

• What happens when the Girls Next Door move out of the neighborhood? We're not sure, but rumor has it Hef's girls Holly and Kendra are in search of new digs. (Usmagazine.com)

• The first rule of TV 101: If you're gonna make a show called Cougar Town, you must (we repeat, MUST) get Courteney Cox to star in it. Capiche? (The Insider)

• And speaking of cougars, word has it there's already a Melrose spinoff in the works! We're just hoping Amanda Woodward's still rocking three-inch roots -- and dressed like some sort of high-class, boardroom hooker. (Fox News)

• 30 Rock star Tracy Morgan's leaving the dimly-lit world of strip clubs behind...but that doesn't mean he can't still get his money's worth... (NY Daily News)