It's been some time since Joe Zee ordered Erin Kaplan to show Olivia Palermo the ropes, and natch, we've been waiting anxiously to see Elle's PR Director finally take Liv under her wing. But from the looks of this video, that's all far from happening on next week's City. Plus, over at People's Rev, Kelly Cutrone's putting the kibosh on Roxy Olin's creative brainstorms. Holy office anxiety! Watch as Roxy's efforts to help Whitney/impress Kelly fall just a little bit short while Erin and Liv get into yet another turf war.

Wednesday night, roomies (slash costars, slash coworkers slash joined-at-the-hipsters) Whitney Port and Roxy Olin got all dolled up and hit the party circuit in their red carpet finest. So how'd they avoid stepping on each other's toes? Simple: they stayed approximately three thousand miles apart. Yep, while Whit went West Coast wildin' at Us' Hot Hollywood party (along with Hillzies Stephanie Pratt, Kristin Cavallari and Audrina Patridge), Roxy held down the fort in NYC at the taping of the 2009 mtvU Woodie Awards.

Check out both gals' gorge going-out ensembles (BTW, is it bad that Whit's lacy white frock reminds us of the "doily" dress from Reality Bites?!) and tell us whether you're more in love with Roxy's loose locks/copper-colored wrap -- or Whitney's delicate ringlets/beaded baby-doll.

What's that we hear? An in-store fashion show at EXPRESS in NYC? Roxy and Erin from The City will be there? Fans are invited? Oh, hell yeah!

Sorry for the late notice -- that's just how we roll here in Busytown USA -- but ... you're cordially invited to the EXPRESS store in SoHo tonight from 6pm to 8pm to check out some hot holiday styles inspired by the girls of The City! Plus, you'll have an opportunity to meet Roxy and Erin (and maybe ask them some burning questions about Liv Palermo's self-proclaimed hip-hop obsession). So if you're in The City (New York City, that is) and you've got a little time on your hands, swing by the party! Just remember to RSVP first to EXPRESSrsvp@ELLE.com.

Aside from Joe Zee and Freddie Fackelmayer's dad, it's been a stretch trying to find one guy on The City who treats our favorite ladies with the kindness and respect they deserve. Case in point: Whitney's dinner date with Abbreviation Boy (above) and Roxy's run-in with that Hugh Hefner wannabe (below).

Are we missing something here? Last time we checked, Whitney and Roxy still looked like supermodels -- and acted much smarter -- so why's it been so hard for them to land a guy who isn't a total d-bag?

We know, we know. We sound a little angry, like maybe dating life isn't going so well for us either. And if that were true, all we could really do is throw up our hands and yell, "I am soooo much better than this crap!" (But we won't, cuz that would be really disruptive to the other bloggers in the office.)

Since our most effective form of deflection tends to be asking everyone else's opinion, let's put it to a poll. You tell us: Are Whit and Roxy (and possibly Lisa) doing something wrong to attract all these losers?

A picture's worth a thousand words, and this week on The City, it was all about the body language. From Whitney eyeballing her blind date (like, did he seriously just say "LV!?) to Erin squirming at the dinner table, there were plenty of screencap-worthy moments tonight! Come join us as we recall a few of our favorite ones...

1. Whitney breaks bread (then breaks out her wallet!) with Bergdorf's Boy.
Fun fact: Her jaw's been permanently dropped ever since Patrick name-dropped "5F" and asked her to "join forces" on the bill. Talk about making a big first impression!

2. Erin looks on fondly as Olivia nails the photo shoot.
If tightly crossed arms, a clenched jaw and an intense stare-into-nowhere don't say "understated pride," then we don't know what does! Sheez, Erin, why don't ya just stamp "I Heart Olivia" on your forehead next time?!

3. Roxy tells Zac exactly how she feels about him!
Guys love it when you're straight-up with them -- but they hate talking about their feelings. So if you're looking to let someone down easy, we'd recommend the "double finger." It's a great way of saying "I'm just not that into you" without all the talky talk. (Trust us, he'll thank you later!)

4. Erin enjoys a delicious meal with her teammate, Olivia!
If you really wanna impress your bosses, remember: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all! Instead, just look crazy stressed, stuff your face and try not to wince every time someone says "Olivia." Works every time!

5. Olivia slightly over-exaggerates her hip-hop expertise.
Note to Liv: Real hip-hop aficionados don't twist their hands into pretzels and say things like, "A Tribe Called Quest? Never heard of 'em!" Next time, nod confidently, stroke your chin and say "Yeah, I really liked them -- til they blew up and went all mainstream."

+ Got anything to add? Tell us what we missed in the comments!

Roxy Olin wasn't lying when she told Kelly Cutrone she loved black. Girl's got more darks in her closet than a recently-widowed witch. So how does she stay true to her black leanings without coming across as one note? Accessories, accessories, accessories! When she's not mixing in prints (or even florals!), Roxy keeps her look fresh with chunky jewelry, sexy/sheer stockings and a hefty stash of high-waisted belts. Check out what she wore to the opening of Gap's new Soho store last week, then see how she switches up her style (if not her red carpet poses!) in the pix below.

When you're a leggy blonde working in fashion, meeting guys generally isn't a problem. 'Course, that doesn't mean Whitney Port can just snap her fingers and make Mr. Right appear. With Whit's crazy busy sched, it could be a couple years before she bumps into her future hubby (at a bookstore! or a Starbucks! or a party thrown by mutual friends!). Til then, she's gotta do like the rest of us and keep putting herself out there! Even if that means going out on blind dates and (occasionally) getting played by guys like Fred Facks.

Anyhow, watch as Whit courageously(!) goes out with a complete and total stranger while Roxy discovers that her new man crush is already seeing other people -- right in front of her face. Plus, head over to Elle country to hear Erin 'splain why she's officially over holding Olivia's hand.

Last week on The City, Roxy Olin was quietly riding along in Sam's automobile when suddenly she started sticking her head out the sunroof and talking about her vajayjay tat. A wild moment for sure, but apparently, Rox was just kidding! The ink's not, like, directly ON her crotch. It's actually about two inches above it. TOTALLY different story.

"I have a tattoo on my hip bone," Roxy told NYMag.com when asked about her Hamptons joyride, "but I was joking, and [MTV] didn't show the humor in it at all." According to Roxy, it's of angel wings, "like right above" her crotch.

Still, Roxy's fam wasn't exactly thrilled by all the talk about her unmentionables. "I felt really bad for my grandparents," she admitted. "They liked [that] episode a lot. But afterward, I was like, 'I'm so sorry about the crotch comment.' But they didn't write me back yet."

Whitney and Roxy might've spent most of their time in Miami arguing (and racking up a hefty room service bill), but it wasn't all work and no play for the City pals! In between exchanging dirty looks, the girls actually managed to sneak in some fun in the sun, take in a couple shows and get all decked out for Erin Kaplan's Xtra Life LYCRA party (above, right).

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Lately, we haven't held back from praising Kelly Cutrone and her take-no-BS, tough talkin' ways. But there is one minor thing we've left out (due to fear of possibly having our lives ruined): There's NO CHANCE in hell we'd want to work for her. (Please Kelly, don't be mad. You wouldn't want to hire us anyway. We wear Gap.)

Let us explain. It's not that we don't use Kel as our model for runnin' s**t and ALWAYS gettin' the job done. It's just that we're still working on thickening our skin (slash laughing it off when our boss implies we suck and are easily replaceable). Being yelled at is really not our cup of tea; however, we simply can't imagine a world in which we didn't get to hear the Scary Boss Lady go off on her employees at any moment. (We are voyeurs by occupation, you see.)

Whitney and Roxy took soooo many hits tonight -- partly because Rox couldn't control her mox -- but we want to know your favorite chew-out. Take a look at some of KC's best quotes from the latest episode of The City and tell us the one that had you thinking, "I will never take for granted my quiet desk job. Ever. Again."
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