• Until now, Celebrity Apprentice has always been sort of a guilty pleasure. But Donald Trump's stepped it up this year by getting hold of some legitimate (albeit minor) celebrities. Joan Rivers...Dennis Rodman...Tom Green?? Holy crap, we've actually heard of these people! (TMZ)

• Opera-singing insurance agent Neal E. Boyd proves America really does have talent. (Usmagazine.com)

• Has Project Runway gotten cattier? We're not sure, but we're kinda loving how Nina Garcia dissed Kenley's dress by saying: "It looks like a reptile, but not in a cool way." (E! Online)

• You don't have to go on a gay cruise to catch Rosie O'Donnell's act anymore - the former View costar just inked a deal to host a one-night only NBC variety show. (Hollywood Reporter)

• Apparently, Aussies don't share our Brenda/Kelly nostalgia. 90210 has been yanked down under after only four measly episodes. (Perez Hilton)

• VMAs host Russell Brand has a new show on Comedy Central! Which still doesn't explain why he's so interested in scoring Sarah Silverman's breast milk. (The Sun - UK)

• Despite mastering Audrina's wayward stare, actress Charlize Theron says she can't wrap her pretty blonde head around the whole Hills phenom: "I think the girls are beautiful and when they cry their mascara runs and that's real, but I don't get it!" (MTV News)

• Dancing with the Stars premiered last night! Find out who was a stud (i.e. former N*SYNC-er Lance Bass!) and who was a dud (i.e. the corneally-impaired Jeffrey Ross). Yay, voyeurism! (Usmagazine.com)

• Also: learn more about quirky, 82 year-old Oscar-winner (and DWTS contestant) Cloris Leachman and her various old-person afflictions! (TV Watch)

• Introducing....Michael Phelps as Dr. McSwimmy! Yeah, we're not laughing, either. (Mollygood)

• Despite being boring, Dylan McKay-less and prone to triggering eating disorders, the 90210 spinoff has just been picked up for an entire season. Let the slow-moving plotlines and shameless overacting continue! (E! Online)

• Ever wanted to see what Project Runway judge Nina Garcia's face would like if it were "swelled up like a cauliflower?" Well, today's your lucky day! (Scandalist)

+ Actress American Ferrara is angry at shows like Gossip Girl for portraying women as manipulative shrews and thereby "conditioning" girls to be mean. As opposed to, say, educational programing like Ugly Betty, which sends the positive/uplifting message that everyone who works in fashion (except the nerdy executive assistant!) is a conniving, size-zero biotch. (Fox News)

+ Breaking: JLo has dropped out of the Project Runway finale due to some completely unrelated foot injury! Host/mentor/thesaurus Tim Gunn will be taking her place. (Access Hollywood)

+ Meanwhile, Nina Garcia has no frickin' clue what's going on. (E! Online)

+ Next week's 90210 to reveal the identity of Kelly's baby-daddy! (TV Watch)

+ Tyra Banks, Kelly Ripa among New York's best -- and fiercest! -- dressers. (Usmagazine.com)

• Rumor has it Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are getting ready to supersize their digs... by moving into a multimillion dollar mansion. Sign me up for the garage sale -- I've got dibs on the freestanding arcade game! (The Gossip Girls)

• Brooke Hogan debates taking it all off for a spread in Playboy. Quick, somebody get that girl a no-nudity clause! (Usmagazine.com)

• So You Think You Can Dance cecap: New partners! Hot brunette continues to wear her trademark half-dresses. (People)

• Have you heard about the new Gossip Girl campaign? Basically, it's "a series of posters of the young, beautiful cast in risqué poses juxtaposed with quotes from the show's bad reviews." You know you love it. (Dose.ca)

• What can brown do for you? Apparently, it can get you booted from Project Runway faster than Nina Garcia can say "Shiny, tight and short is the quickest way to look cheap." Ouch! (Reuters)

• Kimora Lee Simmons refuses to let her daughters wear anything with a bare midriff. Presumably, this means the entire Baby Phat collection is off-limits until they're approximately 35. (People)

• Jay Manuel (a.k.a. the orange-tinted makeup artist from America's Next Top Model) is getting sued by his manager for a pretty chunk of change. (TMZ)

• Meanwhile, Project Runway judge Nina Garcia is supposedly raking in the dough on her public appearances. Apparently, people can't get enough of her patented permascowl or her trademark catch-phrase: "Your hems are uneven." (Gawker)

• You can all sleep safely tonight. Hardened criminal Khloe Kardashian is officially behind bars, where she belongs. (Usmagazine.com)

• Kherrington and Gev (a.k.a. the hot blonde and cute-ish Kazakh breakdancer) were eliminated last night from that other dancing show. Gev's fatal flaw? Forgetting to go shirtless. (LA Times)

• Three months after publicly endorsing Republican John McCain, Heidi Montag grabbed a power-lunch with McCain's 23-year-old daughter, Meghan. (Usmagazine.com)

• Khloe Kardashian making the most of the days leading up to her 30-day incarceration. (PerezHilton)

• Tori Spelling admits that her "biggest regret" has been her tumultuous relationship with her wicked stepmother, Candy. (People)

• Brooke Shields reveals that it took 8 hours and two days to shoot her guest-judge stint on Project Runway. Also, she evidently found the expert judges (read: Nina Garcia) incredibly intimidating. (NYMag)

• If you liked Mean Girls and hate sucky people, you'll probably love Queen Bee. (JS Online)

• Not long after Katherine Heigl waged war on the Grey's Anatomy writers come word that her character may be developing a fatal brain tumor. Funny how things work out! (Usmagazine.com)