(Photo: Fox)

• Have you heard? Actress Mischa Barton has learned to play the sitar for her new movie in a misguided attempt to make us all forget that she's Marissa Cooper. Nice try, Coop, but we're not falling for it. And neither is Atwood. (ICYDK)

• And speaking of our fave prematurely-cancelled show, remember Michael Cassidy? We knew -- and loved -- him as hippie/rich kid Zach Stevens in the post-Marissa era O.C., and now he's reportedly leaving crappy CW teen dramedy, Privileged. We're not sure why. Presumably, because it's terrible. (TV Squad)

• Scrubs creator Bill Lawrence says he won't be coming back for another season, and neither will the show's neurotic/effeminate star, Zach Braff. (New York Times, via TS)

• Paris Hilton is said to have spent somewhere between $5,000 and $10,000 buying 31 "beautiful sexy dresses" during a quickie Aussie shopping spree. It's good to be an heiress. (INO)

• Notorious lout Balthazar Getty has managed to get himself bounced from Brothers & Sisters. (Dlisted)

• Yes, it's weird that The O.C.'s Mischa Barton just called Victoria Beckham unstylish and questioned her status as a British fashion icon. But it's even weirder that Perez Hilton just called Mischa "0% Body Fat" Barton "Thunderthighs." This is how eating disorders get started, people! (Perez Hilton)

• Brooke Hogan inexplicably turns down a Playboy pictorial. Because, apparently, she has (newly acquired) standards. (Usmagazine.com)

• The Pillsbury Doughboy formerly known as Brandon Walsh is officially returning to 90210! Well, sort-of... (E! Online)

• SNL apologizes for implying that they sanction the practice of shooting annoying people in the face. Clearly they're opposed! Otherwise, no WAY would Chris Kattan still be here. (TV Squad)

• Rocco DiSpirito and Karina Smirnoff get a stay of execution on Dancing with the Stars. Take that, Kim Kardashian! (TV Watch)

Inspired by Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin's uncanny resemblance to Tina Fey and Megan Mullally (triplets separated at birth?), I've decided to figure out which Hollywood celebs would depict the Hills gals if the series ever were to get adapted onto the big screen. Here's who I came up with:

Alicia Silverstone as Lauren Conrad: Who better to play a rich, gorgeous California fashionista than Cher Horowitz herself?? Bonus: Cher's rotating Clueless closet will totes come in handy for storing last season's Lauren Conrad Collection.

Jennifer Aniston as Heidi Montag: Think about it: Both girls live for tweezed eyebrows, designer handbags and hair extensions, PLUS both are always dating the wrong men! (Kidding, Spencer!) Besides, they have the exact same trademark red carpet pout.

Mila Kunis as Audrina Patridge: Um, hello! Mila's already proven she can master Audrina's ceiling eyes -- and infatuation with Justin Bobby -- in this amazing Hills parody. The only problem? The closed-lip smile. Mila, take 200 Colgate whitening strips and call me in the morning.
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