As Show Girl demonstrated so eloquently last week, we bloggers here at Remote Control have recently been bitten by the truth bug. Not only are we finding it near impossible to fake enthusiasm over 90210's Peach Pit renovations, but I can barely contain all the T.M.I. pent up inside me. Example: When I was 12, I swiped Troy Weston's school picture from his backpack and hid it in my Trapper Keeper until the end of junior high, when I finally burned the evidence out of lingering paranoia that Troy's mom would find out, and because, well, I liked to set things on fire back then. See what I mean?
Anyways, let me say this about The Hills, and don't interrupt me till I finish: I agree with Show Girl's loud-and-proud assessment of Justin Bobby's now undeniable hotness, something I was loathe to admit before. It seemed like the cool thing to do at the time was to make fun of his helmet hair and riding gloves. Sorry, JB, I take it all back. Now, brace yourself for something bigger...
I've also always found Spencer Pratt to be super attractive, even during the beard and mustache phase. Am I really the only one who sees it? Sometimes I get lost in them ocean-blue eyes, especially when he's calling Heidi "my dear" and/or wearing a suit jacket.
And yes, I do sometimes wonder if Lauren Conrad and I would've been besties if Lisa Love had called to offer me Whitney Port's original job at Teen Vogue. Could I have convinced LC to go to Paris? And, ya know, maybe I wouldn't mind being invited to one of Brent Bolthouse's flashy Hollywood parties once in a blue moon. Heidi could put me on the guest list? And, oh God, here it comes... I've considered getting hair extensions. I've been carrying a magazine cutout of Audrina (circa Season 3) in my wallet for the day I get up the guts and march over to the salon. BTW: If Audrina invited me to a weird show, I'd totally bob my head. I'd also co-sign her BS relationship with JB every time he failed to text her back... "Maybe his phone died?" OK, just one more: I kind of have this girl crush on Team Brunette co-captain, Chiara. She seems so even-keeled, like she could fix me a sundae while helping me with my taxes. Don't tell: She's on the show again Monday!
Blurting out the truth sure can be cathartic! Believe it or not, there's so much I didn't say. Check back next week, when more will be revealed... like how I plan to become Holly Montag's new roomie.
It’s no secret that The Hills isn’t the most dialogue heavy of TV shows. Which is why it’s absolutely ESSENTIAL that any avid watcher becomes fluent in the language of the unspoken word. Here, once again, is an in-depth analysis of the facial expressions that truly say it all.
Did I mention People's Revolution was my company? Because it is. Mine! Mine! Mine! Now, raise your hand if you're the head of a major fashion label! Oh, wait, that's me.
Oh. My. God. Seriously, how did I ever think Lisa Love was scary??
Sweetie, I'm so proud of you for giving Stephanie another chance. This is the best thing you've done all week! Well, you know, besides shaving your mustache.
Read more...
You've already read every last opinion I've got regarding Season 3 of The Hills... so I went ahead and asked a reputable group of other TV bloggers to add their thoughts on all the tears, train wrecks and temporary lapses in sanity. In celebration of the August 18 Season 4 premiere, I present you Remote Control's "Hills Blogger Forum". Here to give their Season 4 predictions and comment on Spencer's stealth mission to win Heidi back in last season's finale (watch the video clip to refresh your memory), are Phoebe Reilly from Spin, Lane Brown from New York Magazine, and 'Pop Culture' from I'm Bringing Blogging Back:
Reilly: Someone needs to file a restraining order against Spencer. Still, I think Spencer and Stephanie really saved Season 3. She seems to find him as odious as the rest of us; he’s hilariously dismissive of her. It’s good TV. I predict they dominate in Season 4.
Brown: Spencer's panicked drive to Las Vegas — along with his rude breakup of Heidi's meeting which hilariously appears to have led to her losing her job — inexplicably seems to have paid off; he and Heidi are a couple again. It's tough to argue with results.
The special genius of The Hills is that, since nothing ever happens on the show, it can never really jump the shark — Season 4 will be huge. That said, I personally would be infinitely more interested in a Spencer Pratt spinoff.
Pop Culture: I think Season 4 will rot my brain just as much as Season 3 did, which is exactly what I’m looking for. Toss in a pregnancy scare or two, a fist fight, and a love affair between Elodie and Lisa Love and you got yourself an award-winning season. I also predict that Whitney will finally ask the cameras what they’ve been doing following her around for the past four years. Bring it on!
Tune in Monday night at 10pm for the Live Season 4 premiere of The Hills!
