Over the past two seasons of Shot at Love, we’ve seen dozens of suitors (male and female) vye for Tila Tequila’s affection by getting tattooed, walking on broken glass (well, sort of) and chugging down hot dog smoothies. We’ve seen Tila hop in the hottub with Jersey Jay’s ‘rents, perform unspeakable acts on a pickle and manhandle Kristy’s younger bro. And we’ve even seen Tila get shot DOWN (on her own show!) by the one-time object of her affection.
And then, just when we thought we were 100% shock-proof, we sat down and watched the trailer for this season’s Double Shot at Love (premiering Tuesday December 9th at 10 PM ET/PT). And we have three words for you: HELL FRICKIN’ YEAH. A set of identical bisexual (and did we mention gorgeous?) twins determined to find their dream guys/girls without scratching each other’s eyes out? Yes, please!
So say hello to Rikki and Vikki Ikki (You only WISH we were kidding) and get psyched for the craziest season yet. Looks like the third time IS a charm …
Tila Tequila isn’t exactly what one would call lucky in love. After two seasons of Shot at Love, Tila ended up with two failed relationships, one broken heart and a gazillion reasons to throw in the towel. Naturally, we couldn’t help but wonder what went wrong.
Was this just the universe’s way of telling Tila she was inherently unlovable? Was she destined to live a life of chronic singledom and end up impoverished and alone, like some sort of modern-day/bisexual Lily Bart? Or was she just a lousy judge of character — you know, one of those people who can’t tell a good apple from one that’s icky, commitment-phobic and rotten to the core?
Turns out, it was the latter. Our proof? Tila’s recent disclosure of her dream BFF: Ms. Amy Winehouse.
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Yesterday, I asked you guys to tell me who you thought had the upper-hand in Tuesday’s Shot at Love 2 shouting match between Tila and Kristy. Needless to say, the results were not unanimous. A bunch of you jumped to Tila’s defense, arguing that Kristy sucker-punched her by waiting until the finale before taking herself out the running. But just as many of you thought Tila was out of line at the reunion…and that she should have spent her energy trying to win Kristy back instead of calling her out.
Anyways, since you guys said it first — and best — I’ve picked three comments representing three very different readers’ opinions. Check them out after the jump, and let me know where you stand on the Tila vs. Kristy debate. Who knows — maybe your comment will be featured in my next post!
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For those of you who missed last night’s awkward Shot at Love mini-reunion, allow me to catch you up. Picture the most awkward love triangle imaginable, top it off with a couple of micro mini-skirts and then finish off with enough crying and shouting to make you long for the serene sound of fingernails screeching across a chalkboard instead. (Apparently, neither Tila nor Kristy’s parents taught their daughters about the importance of speaking in “indoor voices.”)
Anywho, last night was only the second time we got to hear Tila sound off on Kristy (the first was when she coined the phrase “fake-a**-b*tch” in reference to the former Playboy pinup) and the first time we got to see Kristy tell her side. And while both girls had some good — and extremely loud — points, each fight can only have winner.
So you tell me: Who came out on top in last night’s Battle of the Bisexuals? After watching the two ladies fight it out, are you on Team Tila…or Kamp Kristy?
Sure, Tila says Kristy’s a “fake-a**-b*tch,” and Kristy says she was just following her heart. But none of that explains why Kristy dissed and dismissed Tila at the worst possible moment ever. So what gives? I came up with a few totally plausible explanations for Kristy’s bizarre behavior on Tuesday’s Shot at Love finale.
Theory #1: She’s been secretly in love with Brittany ever since their skinny-dipping sesh.
Theory #2: She’s suffering from delayed-reaction crotch burn as a result of dry-humping a condom balloon several days earlier.
Theory #3: She’s PMSing and the Mexican airport security totally confiscated her Midol.
Theory #4: She’s intimidated by Tila’s vast number of stripper friends, ex-boyfriends and MySpace friends. (They all want the same thing).
Theory #5: She’s always wanted to start a Facebook group called “I Dumped Tila Tequila” and she figured this was her big chance.
++ Any other off-the-wall theories I missed? Let me know what reasons you think Kristy had for rejecting Tila.
Kristy, a.k.a. this season’s Shot at Love “winner,” refuses to accept Tila’s contention that she is, in fact, a “fake-a**-b*tch.”
Instead, the model-slash-commitmentphobe insists that she just “went with what [her] heart said.” And apparently, her heart just told her to wait until the finale and then dump Tila’s bisexual butt on national tv.
Occasionally, when my heart’s pounding, my pulse is racing and my blood pressure’s higher than Amy Winehouse at Glastonbury, I find that it helps me to jot down some of my thoughts in poetry-form. And so, with only a few gut-wrenching hours standing in between me and the Shot at Love 2 season finale, I humbly present this rhyming tribute to Tila Tequila.
Tonight’s the big Shot at Love finale show
And Tila’s kept us all guessing. Will it be Bo
Who wins Tila’s love and undying affection?
Or will the bisexual “singer” go in another direction?
Perhaps Kristy will be the big winner!
(Her bro sure bonded with Tila at the family dinner)
And speaking of fams, how about Jersey Jay?
Could you believe Tila just sent him away
After getting his moms to act like cheap floozies
And then getting it on in the family jacuzzi?
Meanwhile, I still can’t believe Tila sent Brittany packing
(Ostensibly because the “chemistry” was lacking)
Or Lisa, who proved winning challenges does not guarantee
An oversized Shot at Love McMansion key
So tune in tonight, and find out who Tila chooses
You’ll never believe who wins…and who loses
Tonight’s the highly-anticipated Shot at Love 2 finale! Which means now’s your last chance to let us know which wannabe paramour you think has the better “shot” with Tila. Now, if weren’t for Bo’s bionic chin, I’d say Kristy pretty much has it in the bag, seeing as she has that whole estrogen thing going for her and Tila’s undoubtedly sick of those ‘Is she, or isn’t she a bisexual?’ rumors. But then again, you can never underestimate the sympathy vote — and Jay may have had a point when he hinted that Bo’s jaw-dropping metal plate may, in fact, have given him an edge over the competition.
But what do you guys think? Which guy/girl will it be? Or do you think Tila will rip a page out of The Bachelor’s playbook and decide to keep that last inordinately large house key for herself? Re-read my rundown of the two finalists and let me know whether you’re on Team Bo or Team Kristy!
