• Actor-turned-rapper Joaquin Phoenix insists his music career is totes for realz, although he admits that it might be "laughable" and "ridiculous." You know, just like his crazy, homeless guy beard. (HuffPo, via E!)

• Ex-Playmate Kendra Wilkinson is super psyched to start a fam with her new fiance, but sez she won't be having kids anytime soon because "I don’t want to be fat for the wedding." (E! Online via Scandalist)

• Stephen King is notsomuch into Twilight. The horror!! (E! Online)

• Clay Aiken to appear on America's Next Top Model, presumably to teach the girls how to milk their reality tv stardom beyond the requisite 15 minutes. (Usmagazine.com)

• Shannon Doherty has announced that she'll be returning to 90210 Land one more time, because she needs the cash for old time's sake. (TV Watch)

• The View's Elisabeth Hasselbeck is expecting baby #3! No word yet on whether it'll be a boy or a girl, but know this: it WILL be born wearing a "Palin 2012" onesie. (Usmagazine.com)

• Anyone else think Miss Kentucky is looking a bit on the Sasquatchy/Joaquin Phoenix side? (Inquisitr via E!)

• Update! Alex McCord and Simon van Kempen (a.k.a. the annoying Brooklyn couple who ruined Girls' Night In on Real Housewives: NY) is STILL bragging about their prodigious unremarkable son, Francois. (TV Watch)

• American Idol apologizes for telling America that a kindly Southern man threatened to kill Paula Abdul. (Perez Hilton)

• On last night's Top Chef, Carla fretes, Fabio admits he'd "a-likka to knocka somebody offa" and Stefan finds out he's not as amazing as everybody he thinks he is. (Baltimore Sun Blog)

• Breaking: Ashlee Simpson and her baby daddy will be playing "Bonnie & Clyde wannabes" on CSI: NY. Laugh now, but we haven't been this excited since the time Method Man played a Nigerian polygamist on an episode of Law & Order S.V.U.! (EW)

• Johnny Knoxville is sorry he brought a fake grenade to the airport. Then again, he IS a Jackass -- and, well, that's what jackasses do. (Usmagazine.com)

• Meanwhile, Kendra Wilkinson is sorry she said a bunch of not-so-nice things about the man who plucked her from obscurity, exploited her for his personal/professional gain and hired her to play his "pretend" girlfriend. (E! Online)

• When eccentric actor Joaquin Phoenix said he was leaving the film biz to work on his music, we just figured it was another one of his crazy, nonsensical ramblings. Turns out, it wasn't! Dude's got a hip hop album coming out, and Diddy's producing.  (Hollywood Reporter)

• This week on Grey's Anatomy: Izzie resolves to stop sleeping with a dead guy while Meredith tries, fails, to bring back the High Ponytail. (TV Watch)