Last fall, Whitney Port went for the rocker guy. This week, she's all about boys in blazers. And while her rumored relationship with Leonardo DiCaprio turned out to be nothin' but hype, we're thinking it's time Whit finally met her match. Since she doesn't have a "type," we've gone ahead and rounded up three eligible bachelors for our City gal to choose from. So cue the romantic music -- it's time to make like Patti Stanger and find Whitney a manz!

First up: James Franco.
Okay, so he's kinda easy on the eyes. But this Freaks and Geeks vet isn't your typical Hollywood heartthrob. For starters, dude says he's an artist first, actor second (the humble I-like-to-paint kind, not the pretentious, "acting is my craft" kind). Oh, and did we mention this soft-spoken Monet's also a secret genius?! When he's not off filming Spiderman sequels (or making us go through Kleenex by the box in Milk), Franco's sharpening his noodle with classes at NYU/Columbia. Smart, sexy and geographically desirable? Sounds like a triple threat! (Bonus: He played Justin Bobby in the best Hills parody ever. Marry him, Whitney! Marry him today!)

Next up: Ed Westwick.
This British bad boy has all the edginess of a wannabe grunge musician but without any of the unpleasantness (think greasy, "I forgot to shower hair") that goes along with life on the road. Best known for his portrayal of the smarmy-but-charismatic Chuck Bass on the CW's Gossip Girl, Westwick's trademark smirk/deadpan delivery make him the perfect foil for our sweet, adorable Whitney. And while he doesn't dress like his character off set (read: no custom Armani suits in used-car-salesmen plaid!), he's got a dapper, GQ style that would look great on any girl's arm. Or, better yet, in the front row at the next WhitneyEve show...

And, finally: Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
Levitt's soft, liquidy eyes melted our hearts in (500) Days of Summer -- but he's got a lot going for him besides his unconventional appeal. Smart, subversive and so small he can (almost) fit inside your pocket, he's survived thirteen years in the biz (remember Third Rock?) and gone from indie darling to lustworthy leading man without letting any of it go to his head. (Take note, Shia LaBeouf.) We've had a crush on him since 10 Things I Hate About You (dude was awkward/skinny hot way back when Michael Cera was just a fetus), and we think his grounded, hipstery appeal more than makes up for the massive height differential. Besides, no one at those Brooklyn loft parties wears heels, anyway.

+ Wanna help play love doctor? Let us know which single (or at least ring-less) guys you think would be great for Whitney Port!

Remember that bizarro logic your mom imparted the first day of 6th grade about how boys snapping your bra and calling you names really liked you, they just didn't know how to show it? As unbelievable as it sounded at the time, things started to make sense when those same boys asked you out the following year, eh? Well, it's this same sorta trick psychology that alerted me circa early Season 3 that The Hills had become HUGE.... Recall, if you will, when hundreds of show spoofs poking fun at Lauren, Heidi and Co. started to pop up around the Web. At that moment, it was obvs the world was hooked!

Some of these parodies starred big-time celebs reenacting intimate moments between the show's characters, take for instance this one from FunnyOrDie.com, in which James Franco and Mila Kunis play Justin Bobby and Audrina trying to work out their relationship issues over pork fried rice:

Others were less about the talent, more about proving the point that drama never gets old:

But these are just a few of my personal faves. Tune in to The Hills: Spoof'd tomorrow at noon to find out which Web parodies the show's cast gave its biggest props!

This week, MTV News' Movies Editor Josh Horowitz caught up with James Franco and Seth Rogen. And while, ostensibly, the two Pineapple Express costars were there as part of the promotional tour for their new stoner flick, the real crux of the interview came when Horowitz grilled Franco about his most extraordinary cinematic role to date: Justin Bobby.

Check out what the Spider-Man alum had to say about stepping into The Hills' (formerly) long-haired lothario's shoes. Then re-watch the FunnyorDie clip and tell us whether you think James nailed JB's trademark nonsensical-hair-in-the-face delivery.