• Jodie Sweetin's ex-hubby is claiming the former Full House star is an unfit mother who occasionally drives drunk. In the words of the inimitable Stephanie Tanner, "How rude!" (TMZ)

• Taylor Swift admits that Gossip Girl's Chace Crawford is her dream date, thereby giving us a clear shot at Chuck Bass. Hands off, girls -- he's ours. (Usmagazine.com)

• Former Saved by the Bell star Tiffani Thiessen (better known as Kelly Kapowski) is not, we repeat, not expecting kids anytime soon. So hold off on the MILF jokes -- at least until we hear otherwise. (Hollyscoop)

• Paula Abdul continues to blast the American Idol producers, either because she's really angry with them or because she's trying to negotiate a better contract for herself. Possibly both. (Boston.com)

• Biggest Loser's Vicky Vilcan is sorry you think she's a beyotch. But she can't help it if you're wrong. (TV Watch)

+ Either Camp Rock star (and squeaky-clean teen) Demi Lovato is secretly a cutter, or it's about time she had her cat declawed. Of course, there is a third explanation:it's just a scratch on her wrist. No, seriously. GET OVER IT. (Scandalist)

+ Kate Walsh's hubby, film executive Alex Young, has reportedly filed for divorce. Naturally, we're saddened by the split, but confident that the brilliant/beautiful Dr. Addison Montgomery Shepherd had the wherewithal to make like Kanye -- and holla "We want prenup!!" -- before skipping down the aisle. (LA Times)

+ Lance Bass sez competing on Dancing with the Stars "destroyed" his love life. Fortunately, he's still got that brief resurgence of fame to fall back on! (Usmagazine.com)

+ Introducing the world's newest Cover Girl ... Ellen DeGeneres?? (People)

+ Sad news, folks. That already-overhyped Gossip Girl spinoff is reportedly dead (you hear us? DEAD!) along with plans for a new Full House remake starring the once-hot Uncle Jessie. Sigh. (E! Online)

• Carmen Electra says she won't be going the reality show route with her new hubby-to-be, Rob Patterson. Which is a good thing, since it's hard to imagine a reality show called 'Til Death Do Us Part: 2. (Usmagazine.com)

• Perez Hilton gives us a sneak preview of Saturday night's "Top Ten Most Memorable Moments Ever" from The Hills. Have a look, won't you? (Perez Hilton)

• Joey from Full House finally admits that he's the guy who inspired Alanis' angry chick ballad, "You Oughta Know." (People)

• Project Runway contestants give Brooke Shields a fashion makeover. (People)

• Matt Saracen to contend with a hunky new rival on next season's Friday Night Lights. (EW)

• Your grandma may have a thing for Run's House...but your mom apparently has the hots for American Idol winner David Cook! Says the reluctant mom-magnet: "Every time a mother comes up to me and says proudly that she's a cougar, it's always a little unnerving. (OK!)

• Former Tanner (and sometimes Pants-Off Dance-Off host) Jodie Sweetin and her hubby weigh the merits of "pulling a Tori and Dean." (People)

• And speaking of Full House alums, set your DVR's! The Friar's Club roast of surprisingly dirty funnyman Bob Saget is less than three weeks away. (Comedy Central)

• Apparently, some people were actually rooting for that quirky Mark fellow to win it all on SYTYCD. Just not enough to keep him from getting kicked off last night. (Entertainment Weekly)

• Janice Dickinson looking fierce without her makeup. (Perez Hilton)

• You know your fashion career's not going too well when the heinous ruffle-dress (that got you booted from Project Runway) is still better than your collection. (NY Mag)

I'm going to keep this short and sweet. Gavin needs to stop "popping off" and giving his two cents on whether or not The Hills is real. Totally ignoring the fact that he just had his whole manhood taken from him on television when Lauren passed on him for Brody, the guy looks like everyone's favorite uncle from Full House...Joey!

(Sorry Jesse, but your love for Elvis and motorcycles was always too renegade for my tastes.)