(Photo: NBC)

• Likable late night host Jay Leno tops the list of America's Favorite TV Personalities, narrowly edging out #'s 2 and 3 (House curmudgeon Hugh Laurie and coffee table-dancer Ellen DeGeneres), and wiping the floor with Bill "Popular Contests Aren't My Thing" O'Reilly. (TV Squad)

• Spike (from last season's Top Chef, remember?) claims tonight's all-new episode will give people a chance "see who’s a bigger man — me or Fabio." Spoiler: It's Fabio! C'mon, "Ees notta Top Scallop"?! GENIUS. (TV Watch)

• Paula Abdul storms out in the middle of an American Idol audition. Possibly because she's jealous of new judge Kara DioGuardi, possibly because she's unhinged. (Usmagazine.com)

• Apparently, Bart (and actress/Scientologist Nancy Cartwright) missed the Simpsons episode where Homer joins the crazy, money-grubbing cult. (CNET)

• Hugh Hefner continues to pretend that getting dumped by his "girlfriends" was the best thing that ever happened to him. (E! Online)

+ Either Camp Rock star (and squeaky-clean teen) Demi Lovato is secretly a cutter, or it's about time she had her cat declawed. Of course, there is a third explanation:it's just a scratch on her wrist. No, seriously. GET OVER IT. (Scandalist)

+ Kate Walsh's hubby, film executive Alex Young, has reportedly filed for divorce. Naturally, we're saddened by the split, but confident that the brilliant/beautiful Dr. Addison Montgomery Shepherd had the wherewithal to make like Kanye -- and holla "We want prenup!!" -- before skipping down the aisle. (LA Times)

+ Lance Bass sez competing on Dancing with the Stars "destroyed" his love life. Fortunately, he's still got that brief resurgence of fame to fall back on! (Usmagazine.com)

+ Introducing the world's newest Cover Girl ... Ellen DeGeneres?? (People)

+ Sad news, folks. That already-overhyped Gossip Girl spinoff is reportedly dead (you hear us? DEAD!) along with plans for a new Full House remake starring the once-hot Uncle Jessie. Sigh. (E! Online)

• Only Kim Kardashian would get all freaked out over claims that she WON'T be stripping down to her skivvies and posing in Playboy. (Celebuzz)

• Overly perky morning show host Kelly Ripa denies rumors that she and hubby Mark Consuelos are headed for Splitsville. (Usmagazine.com)

• Real Housewives of Atlanta star NeNe Leakes and her husband Gregory were evicted from their 5-bedroom home. But don't feel too sorry for them. Nene claims she and Greg are "financial able [sic] and stable to live where ever we feel fits." (Atlanta Journal-Constitution, via Us)

• Late Show host David Letterman unforgivably mistakes gross eyeball-fondling woman for talented newcomer. (Best Week Ever)

• Brad "Groucho Marx" Pitt sez he's trying to bring mustaches back, plus he tells Ellen DeGeneres the surefire way to lure George Clooney onto her talk show: "Send him "a bunch of Chippendales [dancers]": "He’s yours...three, four—no less than three." (E! Online)

• It's the end of Heidiwood as we know it! Anchor Blue has reportedly dropped Heidi Montag's fashion line in an effort to focus almost exclusively on denim. Guess it really is all in the jeans? (AHN)

•Meanwhile, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are still making fashion statements. The vocal right-wingers have taken to wearing their political views on their sleeves. And also, on their shirtfronts. (Just Jared)

• Plus, Audrina Patridge gets called out for not being a science geek. (E! Online)

•Gossip Girl's Taylor Momsen was hospitalized with a "potentially life-threatening throat infection" on Sunday, but docs are now expecting Little J to make a full recovery. Xoxo, kiddo! (MTV News)

• Jimmy Fallon joins the rest of known world in worshiping the universally popular Tina Fey. (Usmagazine.com)

• Is Ellen DeGeneres really a closet hetereosexual? Eh, probably not. (TBAMFS)

• Apparently, Katherine Heigl is as passionate about adopting rescue dogs as Brangelina is about adopting third-world orphans. (Showbiz Spy)

• Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm has been renewed for a seventh season. (L'chaim!) Let the kvetching, whining and neurotic overanalyzing continue! (E! Online)

• Believe it or not, Audrina Patridge wasn't exactly Miss Popularity back in high school. "I got picked on," the Hills star admitted. "Girls... would call me names and spread terrible rumors." (Fox News)

• And apparently, some things never change! "I have a lot I need to get off my chest lately, as there are a lot of false and malicious things being said about me," 'Drina wrote on her MySpace. Geez, no wonder her current mood is listed as "Drained." (Audrina's MySpace)

• Oh, and if all that wasn't enough? Audrina totes busted her ankle while doing a stunt for Ellen Degeneres' talk show. (Audrina's website)

• Will America's Next Top Model spinoff become the new Queer Eye? Yes! That is, if Mr. and Mrs. Jay have anything to say about it. (Usmagazine.com)

• Check out a sneak preview of Oprah and Jennifer Aniston's cameos on 30 Rock. (E! Online)

• 90210's Jason Priestley is looking forward to reuniting with his TV ex-girlfriend and fellow Minnesota Twin. (TV Watch)

• Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi are (finally!) tying the knot this weekend! Reportedly, Portia will be wearing a "flowing, formfitting dress by Zac Posen" and Ellen will, presumably, take us back to Oscar night with one of her trademark pants suits. (NYP)

• Although the ladies of Danity Kane looked picture perfect on this week's G's to Gents, it appears all is not copacetic. (Perez Hilton)

• Is it finally curtains for Chris Noth's long-running Law & Order character, Detective Mike Logan? (E! Online)

• The season's over for Kathy Griffin's My Life on the D-List, much to the disappointment of her show tunes loving, celebrity weekly-subscribing fanbase. (PopWatch)

• Brenda and Kelly (briefly) reunite on the new 90210 trailer! Now, all that's missing are a broody Dylan McKay and a high school populace with impossibly long sideburns. (People)

...And by "single," of course, I mean "the first track off Heidi's upcoming new album." (See what I did there?) Anyhow, the ever-subtle Spencer makes sure to totally underplay it, telling Usmagazine.com "It's the greatest song of my life." (Click HERE to listen and decide for yourself!)

• Tori Spelling's well-polished hubby is officially putting the "man" in "manicure." (Dlisted)

• Talk show host/serial coffee table humper Ellen DeGeneres gives gf Portia de Rossi a princessy pink diamond engagement ring. (People)

• Bethenny, a.k.a. everyone's favorite (unmarried) "Real Housewife of New York," has just come out with a healthy dessert line featuring...vegan cupcakes? Holy inappropriate! (E! Online)

• The View's Sherry Shepherd says she's supporting Michelle Obama for first lady because "she's intelligent" and has "fabulous" hair. Strangely, frizzy-haired simpleton Cindy McCain was reportedly unavailable for comment. (Usmagazine.com)