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Snooki, Conan O'Brien and Mike "The Situation" smile for separate cameras.

Could you see Jack McBrayer getting 10 kinds of crazy with JWOWW and Deena at Karma? How about John Lithgow slaying the beat with his fist before tanking a 4 a.m. sausage grinder on the rooftop deck? Folks, it's the cast that almost was, and Conan O'Brien has the footage to prove it.

On last night's "Conan," the funnyman's hair and the body beneath it gave their audience an exclusive peek at some "Jersey Shore" hopefuls that just missed the cut (and by a very narrow margin, we imagine). Shame--we bet Jesse Eisenberg had the potential to do some damage to the GTL regimen.

Take a look at the video below, and tell us if Seaside fares better or worse without these Hollywood juggernauts (including Mike, who evidently did not live up to producers' standards). Tough break, Sitch.

Photos: Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images, Jason Merritt/Getty Images, Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images

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When Conan O'Brien started a campaign to get his endearingly cheesy production assistant, Chris Ultimo, onto the "Jersey Shore" cast, we considered it a bold mission with a hint of ridiculousness. After all, the guy could probably pass as Vinny's dad. Still, we've always had a soft spot for socially awkward underdogs (especially ones with Dracula hairlines), so we figured the least we could do for the guy is screen his audition tape for Pauly D and Ronnie and capture their reaction on video. In hindsight, maybe that was a cruel experiment. Check out the clip below to see for yourself why Pauly and Ron have absolutely no interest in ever sharing a living space with Chris Ultimo. Sorry, dude, we tried.

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On last night's "Conan," the redheaded stepchild himself introduced a very special production assistant to the audience. His name is Chris Ultimo, and Coco is convinced the guy was "born to be on the 'Jersey Shore.'" In fact, he's so serious about getting Chris on the show that he's launched an online campaign to get fans to help out. Check out the instructions Conan and his crew posted on their Team Coco blog, and make sure to watch the segment that started all the madness.

1.) Click "Like" on the "Get Chris Ultimo on MTV's Jersey Shore" Facebook page.

2.) Tweet @MTV why you want to see Ultimo on Jersey Shore! Here are some possible reasons: He's "verified Baller status"; He's "got a case of the mad slickness"; He'll be your "Sherlock and take you Holmes with a dozen roses" (Also, because he's a romantic. Clearly.) Please use hashtag #ultimo4jerseyshore.

**When we alerted @MTV's Tweeter-in-Chief about the campaign, her entire day began to make sense: "OOOOHHHHH! That’s why I’m getting all of that stuff!"

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When we last left the enterprising "Buried Life" foursome, they were jumping on top of a stage, crossing off No. 85 from their list of things to do before they die -- "throw the most badass party in the world." Throughout Season 1, we watched the guys chase down a handful of audacious goals, such as crashing a stranger's wedding and trying to get Conan O'Brien's attention to perform a joke on late-night TV. Well, the good news is that Duncan, Ben, Jonnie and Dave were nowhere near being finished with their aspirational lineup, and they're ready to get back on their dream-catching bus! Check out the Season 2 trailer below, then tune in for the premiere on Monday, September 27, at 10:30/9:30c.

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Not all A-list puppets are soft-spoken Barney-like goofballs (see Hollywood heavyweight "Warren The Ape" in action)! And while it's always soothing to listen to a little Raffi or Kermit The Frog storytelling, it's also healthy to shake things with up with a wise-cracking, snarky puppet. Here, our five favorite furry friends of all time.

FRANKLIN
Show: "Arrested Development"
What Made Him Legendary: Gob often used his puppet-friend Roosevelt to insult his family members. The unstoppable duo loved performing their sorta-one-hit wonder "It Ain't Easy Being White," which pretty much offended everyone that heard it.

ALF
Show: "ALF"
What Made Him Legendary: This extraterrestrial ex-pat was filled with dry humor and loved pranking people almost as much as he enjoyed shoveling pies down his gullet. In one absurd episode, he became addicted to watching reruns of "Gilligan's Island," which is just totally awesome.

MISS PIGGY
Show: "The Muppets"
What Made Her Legendary: A striving star, her conceitedness and ultrafabulous hair-flipping technique made songs like "Never On Sunday" magical. Plus, watching her plant unwanted kisses on Kermit The Frog never got old!

TRIUMPH THE INSULT COMIC DOG
Show: "Late Night With Conan O'Brien"
What Made Him Legendary: When funnyman Conan first introduced this cigar-toting puppet, we fell in love with his punchy attitude and crude commentary. He made fun of celebrities (he was completely "keeding," of course) and had an almost-unidentifiable accent.

FOZZIE BEAR
Show: "The Muppets"
What Made Him Legendary: Who didn't die for a stand-up comedian that made you obsessed with saying "Wocka Wocka Wocka"? He wasn't quite as snarky as some other puppets on this list, but Foz loved pranking people (like Kermit), and for some reason he felt the need to hide his receding hairline.

+ Don't be embarrassed to admit who your favorite puppet is! Did we miss anyone? Let us know!

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Last week, at the tail end of a highly publicized national media tour (featuring appearances on The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien, The Jay Leno Show and, er, Ashton Kutcher's Frat House Basement), Jersey Shore's Snooki and Mike The Situation finally got a sec to grace MTV's NYC headquarters (and home to Remote Control) with their boldly scented presence. (Who knew Body Heat had over a 10ft. reach?) And because it isn't every day we get such huge stars to swing by (Madonna shmonna), I used my 10 minutes with the cast members wisely: It just wouldn't have been a 'Situation' if Mike hadn't shown off his "Rambo" abs and Snooki hadn't given me a (side?) pouf! Too bad I came a little unprepared...

Snooki schools me on the two-minute pouf:

Mike's tips for getting your own 'Situation':

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Last week, we saw the Jersey Shore cast cozy up to Conan O'Brien, flex their muscles for Mike Tyson and mistake Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi for aging soul singer Lionel Richie on The Jay Leno Show. So how did they close out the weekend? By doing an unexpected guest spot on Saturday Night Live!

Okay, so it wasn't the REAL Snooki who stopped by the Weekend Update desk (the "princess of f***ing Poughkeepsie" was played by SNL's Bobby Moynihan), but the acrylic nails/chest hair/"Garfield" jokes still made for a sweet sketch. Check out Bobby's take on the uber-tan (and professionally poofed) boardwalk babe, plus give it up for her housemate, Mike "The Situation," and his amazing double-sided abs!

+ BONUS: How many sets of hands does it take to get the Jersey Shore look? Alyssa Milano's about to find out! Check out this FunnyOrDie vid and watch as a team of hair/makeup professionals give the actress (and outspoken J. Shore critic) the makeover of a lifetime.

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All sorts of supremely epic things have happened on The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien in the past, but last night's visit from Jersey Shore's Snooki and Mike 'The Situation' might've taken the cake cheese. After much heated debate amongst the office cubicles, we've listed our top three moments:

1) Snooki pitches her own reality show, 'Snookin' For Love'

2) Snooki reveals she's only attracted to "juiceheads"

3) Mike gives Conan a nickname: 'The Solution'

But regardless of our favorite parts, this interview surely can't be missed if you're a fan of all things hard, fast and poofed. Take a peek and tell us your top moments.

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Lost's Josh Holloway (a.k.a. Sawyer, a.k.a. our the love of our primetime tv lives) is becoming a baby daddy! We wish the proud papa-to-be (and his ridiculously lucky wife of 4 years) all the best. (Access Hollywood)

T.R. Knight (who plays Dr. George O'Malley on Grey's Anatomy) denies persistent rumors that he's being written out the show a la Isaiah Washington. Hey, isn't karma weird?? (Usmagazine.com)

Oprah Winfrey admits that she hasn't been watching her girlish figure lately -- and reveals that her current weight is up to 200 pounds. "I'm embarrassed," she writes in the new O magazine. "I look at my thinner self and think, 'How did I let this happen again?'" (Associated Press)

• OMFG, Chuck Bass isn't seriously going to fall to his death while holding a bottle of liquor (just like annoying Surfer Boy Johnny did in that other Josh Schwartz series!) is he? IS HE??? (E! Online)

Conan O'Brien may be taking over Tonight Show hosting duties for Jay Leno, but the prominently chinned comedian has reportedly inked a deal with NBC to do a nightly 10pm variety show -- like The Tonight Show, only earlier! (NY Times)

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• Attention, Upper East Siders!Gossip Girl's lovable lothario Chuck Bass was just spotted PDAing with that hipstery, letter-stealing Vanessa. When reached for comment, a visibly distraught Dan Humphrey muttered "Watch out, Chuck. I hear poverty's contagious." (Usmagazine.com)

Conan O'Brien's ratings are officially lower than Craig Ferguson's! Which means either (a) Conan's already checked out, or (b) Craig Ferguson is actually much, much funnier than we thought. Kidding! Sort of! But seriously, it's the former. (TV Squad)

• Ringleader Britney Spears takes her Circus act to Good Morning America. (MTV News)

• Blind-ish item alert! Is a certain someone (*cough* George) getting slowly-but-surely phased out of Grey's? And if so, we gotta know, why him? Why now? And, most importantly, why not Meredith?? (E! Online)

Dallas and Toni's amazing Amazing Race romance still going strong. Amazing! (TV Watch)

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