• Actor-turned-rapper Joaquin Phoenix insists his music career is totes for realz, although he admits that it might be "laughable" and "ridiculous." You know, just like his crazy, homeless guy beard. (HuffPo, via E!)

• Ex-Playmate Kendra Wilkinson is super psyched to start a fam with her new fiance, but sez she won't be having kids anytime soon because "I don’t want to be fat for the wedding." (E! Online via Scandalist)

• Stephen King is notsomuch into Twilight. The horror!! (E! Online)

• Clay Aiken to appear on America's Next Top Model, presumably to teach the girls how to milk their reality tv stardom beyond the requisite 15 minutes. (Usmagazine.com)

• Shannon Doherty has announced that she'll be returning to 90210 Land one more time, because she needs the cash for old time's sake. (TV Watch)

• Grey's Anatomy is promising BIG changes this year! Which is weird, seeing as most of tonight's 2-hour season premiere centers around Meredith Grey and her severe emotional limitations. Again. (NY Daily News)

• Everyone has an opinion about Clay Aiken's super-shocking "I'M GAY" announcement. Especially the most opinionated Idol judge of them all! Professional blowhard, -- Simon Cowell. (MTV)

• Dominico (from Shot at Love and That's Amore!) is still making Italy proud. (Best Week Ever)

• 90210's Shanae Grimes is sorry you've decided to preemptively draw conclusions about her ideal body weight. Also? She would LOVE to do a Gossip Girl crossover episode! We're thinking Chuck Bass wouldn't mind, either. (Usmagazine.com)

• Remember when Spike served those icky spoiled scallops on Top Chef and blamed everyone but himself? Well it turns out life does imitate reality tv art! His D.C. restaurant was just shut down for myriad health code violations. D'oh! (E! Online)

• Only one more week until Matt Saracen returns as the hunky QB on Friday Night Lights!! Unless you don't have DirectTV...in which case, you'll have to wait till 2009 to see him back in spandex. (TV Squad)