• Jodie Sweetin's ex-hubby is claiming the former Full House star is an unfit mother who occasionally drives drunk. In the words of the inimitable Stephanie Tanner, "How rude!" (TMZ)

• Taylor Swift admits that Gossip Girl's Chace Crawford is her dream date, thereby giving us a clear shot at Chuck Bass. Hands off, girls -- he's ours. (Usmagazine.com)

• Former Saved by the Bell star Tiffani Thiessen (better known as Kelly Kapowski) is not, we repeat, not expecting kids anytime soon. So hold off on the MILF jokes -- at least until we hear otherwise. (Hollyscoop)

• Paula Abdul continues to blast the American Idol producers, either because she's really angry with them or because she's trying to negotiate a better contract for herself. Possibly both. (Boston.com)

• Biggest Loser's Vicky Vilcan is sorry you think she's a beyotch. But she can't help it if you're wrong. (TV Watch)

(Photo: ABC)

+ Rocco DiSpirito manages to exit gracefully from Dancing with the Stars despite his inherent lack of coordination, rhythm or balancing skills. Meanwhile, Mama Dispirito gives the judges an earful. (E! Online)

+ VH1's Best Week Ever to lose its talking heads format and revolve entirely around comedian Paul F. Tompkins. (NY Times)

+ Heba kicks off Phil, professes her love for Trainer Bob on Biggest Loser. (People)

+ Not only are Madonna and Guy Ritchie officially divorcing...Perez is reporting that the couple has no pre-nup! Also, rumors are circling that Madge is still rounding the bases with A-Rod. (Perez Hilton)

+ Desperate Housewives actor Gale Harold reportedly fractured his shoulder in a motorcycle crash. Howard, who plays the new love interest of Teri Hatcher's annoyingly neurotic single mom character, is hoping to make a full recovery. (Usmagazine.com)

+ Amy Sedaris is developing a new sitcom! Knowing her, it will probably be even stranger than the way-strange Strangers with Candy. (TV Squad)

• Serena and Blair are feuding Yalies on tonight's all new, Serena's-still-a-beyotch episode of Gossip Girl. (Seriously? OMG! WTF?)

• Meanwhile, Leighton Meester rediscovers her love of doughnuts -- and giant doughnut-shaped friends. (Live Journal)

• John McCain to face the wrath of an affronted David Letterman. (E! Online)

• When you're Ashley Tisdale or Vanessa Hudgens, nowhere -- not even an icky public restroom --- is safe. "I was at an In-N-Out ... and I was actually going to the bathroom and [people] put their napkins underneath the stall!" Tisdale wails. (People)

• Biggest Loser isn't just about losing weight...it's also about losing undergarments. On last night's ep, Christy accused Starr of pushing her sports bra "off the ledge." Oh, the humanity! (TV Squad)