• Christian Bale is sorry he's a scary psycho-ranter. So are we. (Usmagazine.com)

• Grey's Anatomy's crossover with Grey's spinoff/copycat show, Private Practice, was a huge ratings bonanza! Go figure. (E! Online)

• We don't wanna say reviewers "aren't that into" He's Just Not That Into You. So instead, we'll put it another way: the movie kinda sucks. (Baltimore Sun)

• American Idol's "Bikini Girl" blames her early exit on fatigue and not, as experts are saying, a complete and utter lack of talent. (TV Watch)

• The View's Elisabeth Hasselbeck is expecting baby #3! No word yet on whether it'll be a boy or a girl, but know this: it WILL be born wearing a "Palin 2012" onesie. (Usmagazine.com)

• Anyone else think Miss Kentucky is looking a bit on the Sasquatchy/Joaquin Phoenix side? (Inquisitr via E!)

• Update! Alex McCord and Simon van Kempen (a.k.a. the annoying Brooklyn couple who ruined Girls' Night In on Real Housewives: NY) is STILL bragging about their prodigious unremarkable son, Francois. (TV Watch)

• American Idol apologizes for telling America that a kindly Southern man threatened to kill Paula Abdul. (Perez Hilton)

• On last night's Top Chef, Carla fretes, Fabio admits he'd "a-likka to knocka somebody offa" and Stefan finds out he's not as amazing as everybody he thinks he is. (Baltimore Sun Blog)

(Photo: CW)

• Breaking! The new Gossip Girl spinoff will take place in the 1980's, and follow the adventures of a coke-sniffing, Whitesnake worshipping party girl named Lily van der Woodsen. The show's first big challenge? Replacing the implausibly young actor (who plays Rufus Humphrey at 45) with an implausibly old actor who'll play Rufus Humphrey at 25.  (Usmagazine.com)

• Meanwhile, American Idol continues! The annoying new judge defends her anti-Bikini Girl crusade while Jason Castro's Brother lives to sing another day. (Scandalist, Us)

• Newly engaged Playmate Bridget Wilkinson reminisces about the days when her octogenarian ex footed all the bills in exchange for sex. "[Hugh Hefner] was kind of like my best friend, but a sugar daddy at the same time," Wilkinson explains. "Hef made me feel beautiful." (NYDN)

• Amy Poehler's new show (produced by the guys who brought you The Office) will be shooting documentary-style, like The Office! Fortunately, we like The Office, so it's all good. (TV Squad)

• Hooray, American Idol is back! Which means it's time to watch perennially awkward host Ryan Seacrest attempt to high-five the show's only blind contestant! (Scandalist)

• Paris Hilton's website is INFECTED. Do NOT go there -- unless you want to walk around singing the FreeCreditReport.com song for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. (Valleywag)

• Dr. Gregory House (who, in real life, has a sexy accent and is named Hugh Laurie) says he was a teenage rebel a la James Dean. Are we supposed to be turned off? (Usmagazine.com)

• Breaking: Aubrey O'Day sleeps in Miley Cyrus PJs and has met Fidel Castro! And four other things you never knew about the former Danity Kane diva. (Newsroom)

• New Celebrity Apprentice promo (wisely!) pushes the show's most recognizable celebs (think: Dennis Rodman and Joan Rivers) and ignores the other four or five Whosits (think The Dude Who Played "Hot Dog Vendor #4" In Major League 3.)

+ Miley Cyrus' boyfriend, Justin Gaston, gets a cameo on the Miley and Mandy Show! Here's the (amazing) 5-second recap: "[Gaston] croons about being in love while Miley cheers him on and Mandy [Jiroux] bobs around like the awkward third wheel she just realized she's become." (E! Online)

+ 5 Things you never knew about American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi. Not included: The fact that she totally just got engaged. (Newsroom)

+ Actress Blake Lively (who plays "It" girl Serena van der Woodsen on Gossip Girl) admits she wasn't always a fashion goddess. Of course, that'd be easier to swallow if we weren't reading it in the cover story of this month's Vogue. (Vogue)

+ Lost star Matthew Fox is counting down the days til the series finale. (Usmagazine.com)

+ The Jonas Brothers become the latest artists to join the inaugural bash! Or, as some people have dubbed it, the "Hooray! Bush's Leaving Office!" party. (Buzzworthy)

• Jodie Sweetin's ex-hubby is claiming the former Full House star is an unfit mother who occasionally drives drunk. In the words of the inimitable Stephanie Tanner, "How rude!" (TMZ)

• Taylor Swift admits that Gossip Girl's Chace Crawford is her dream date, thereby giving us a clear shot at Chuck Bass. Hands off, girls -- he's ours. (Usmagazine.com)

• Former Saved by the Bell star Tiffani Thiessen (better known as Kelly Kapowski) is not, we repeat, not expecting kids anytime soon. So hold off on the MILF jokes -- at least until we hear otherwise. (Hollyscoop)

• Paula Abdul continues to blast the American Idol producers, either because she's really angry with them or because she's trying to negotiate a better contract for herself. Possibly both. (Boston.com)

• Biggest Loser's Vicky Vilcan is sorry you think she's a beyotch. But she can't help it if you're wrong. (TV Watch)

+ American Idol producers seem to think "America loves Paula [Abdul]." We'd argue, if we weren't so soul-crushingly apathetic. (Damn you, Seinfeld, damn you!) (TV Watch)

+ Meanwhile, British children have voted: and they think Simon Cowell's even more famous than God! We'd be willing to bet he's infinitely more recognizable, too. (TV Squad)

+ Breaking: Lipstick Jungle isn't officially canceled yet! Which means there's still at LEAST two more episodes to ogle that hot twentysomething Kirby fellow who never, ever wears a shirt. (E! Online)

+ Good news, ATL lovers! Bravo has just picked up The Real Housewives of Atlanta for a second groundbreaking season. Bring on the crazy! (Usmagazine.com)

+ The Today Show copies Barbara Walters does something completely new and unexpected and offers up their own picks for the 10 Most Fascinating People Top 5 People of 2008. (Psst...our money's still on Obama). (E! Online)

• Resident Idol grouch Simon Cowell reportedly gave his now-ex-girlfriend, Terri Seymour, $9 million as a parting gift. And in related news, women everywhere are suddenly extremely open to the idea of dating -- and subsequently not-dating -- Simon Cowell. (MSNBC)

• West Wing fans will be thrilled by Barack Obama's choice for chief of staff. So who's the lucky guy? That would be Rahm Emanuel (a.k.a. Illinois congressman and the real-life inspiration for Josh Lyman). Holy crap, Obama really IS Matt Santos! (Usmagazine.com)

• Susan Lucci was all smiles yesterday when she learned she'd been eliminated from Dancing with the Stars. Because if there's anyone who knows how to lose gracefully, it's 19-time Emmy nominee Susan Lucci. (TV Watch)

• Sad news, Trekkies. CNN didn't really beam will.i.am into the studio to yak it up with Anderson Cooper. (Mediabistro)

• The new 24 trailer makes us even more infatuated with Jack Bauer than we already were. As if that were possible. (TV Squad)

• Lance Bass' DWTS partner, Lacey Schwimmer, is a sick little chickadee...just like Julianne Hough! Seriously, people, STOP DRINKING THE WATER OVER THERE. (Usmagazine.com)

• American Idol head honchos might be pulling the plug on Josiah Leming's record deal. (MTV News)

• Like Eddie Murphy before him, VMAs host Russell Brand is coming to America! Or, as he puts it, "I hope to go to America now and make quite a lot of films." (The Sun - UK)

• Meanwhile, Idol host Ryan Seacrest has spoken out in support of actress Jennifer Hudson, calling the former AI contestant a "strong" woman. (People)

• Former ANTM wannabe Lisa D'Amato shows Tyra Banks what she clearly hasn't been missing. (TMZ)

• Former American Idol-er Nikki McKibbin blames grouchy judge Simon Cowell her descent into drugs, depression. (Newsroom)

• Will Ferrell to star on Broadway? His last movie wasn't that bad, was it?? (TV Squad)

• Britney Spears finds a way to make Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass even more awesome than he already is. (Usmagazine.com)

• View co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck wishes people would stop confusing her with that other leggy blonde right-winger, Ann Coulter. (E! Online)

• Dancing with the Stars' Toni Braxton is so traumatized over "losing her booty" that she's resorted to eating carbs. On purpose. (TV Watch)