We haven’t seen much of model Kristy Morgan since she bitch-slapped Tila in the Shot at Love 2 finale (and subsequent reunion show). But apparently, the feisty blonde’s been busier than ever since the infamous Tila rejection shocker. In the October issue of Playboy magazine, Kristy proves she’s still a “shore” thing by showing off her bikini(less) bod. Guess that means the reality vixen’s fifteen minutes of reality star fame aren’t up just yet. The way we see it, Kristy’s got at least another 30-45 seconds, easy…

Tila Tequila has dated her fair share of men, but these days, it’s all about the ladies. At a recent event, reporters asked the Shot at Love 2 star whether she preferred guys — or girls, and Tila answered in her typical, understated fashion.

“”She grabbed Brody [Jenner] and started wildly making out with him,” an insider told Star magazine. “When she finished mauling him, she wiped her mouth and said, ‘Definitely girls!’”

Ouch! Looks like Brody can kiss his chances with Tila goodbye. But we’re guessing he didn’t mind participating in her little sociological experiment too, too much. Hey, all in the name of science, right?

Tila Tequila isn’t exactly what one would call lucky in love. After two seasons of Shot at Love, Tila ended up with two failed relationships, one broken heart and a gazillion reasons to throw in the towel. Naturally, we couldn’t help but wonder what went wrong.

Was this just the universe’s way of telling Tila she was inherently unlovable? Was she destined to live a life of chronic singledom and end up impoverished and alone, like some sort of modern-day/bisexual Lily Bart? Or was she just a lousy judge of character — you know, one of those people who can’t tell a good apple from one that’s icky, commitment-phobic and rotten to the core?

Turns out, it was the latter. Our proof? Tila’s recent disclosure of her dream BFF: Ms. Amy Winehouse.

“I wish Amy Winehouse was here — I really want to be friends with her,” Tequila told reporters at the 2008 MTV VMAs on Sunday. “I really want to hang out with her here in Hollywood.”

But perhaps Tila’s only trying to reach out to poor Amy? Yes, of course! Under Tila’s careful tutelage, Amy could, potentially, be convinced to get her life back on track. You know, quit drinking, ditch the beehive (and the incarcerated hubby) and possibly even start walking in straight line!

“Oh no — I don’t want to help her,” Tila clarified. “I want to join her.”

Um, join her in what, exactly? Committing hair suicide, subsiding on a Jack Daniels-only diet and wearing half your body weight in coal-black eyeliner??

Listen up, Tila. Not to sound too much like the neurotic/overbearing Jewish mother you never had, but if you think hanging out with Amy Winehouse is a good time, it’s no wonder your relationship barometer is all out of whack. (C’mon, what could she possibly add to your inner circle? We both know you already HAVE stripper friends.)

Look, this Courtenay Semel person could have definite girlfriend potential (Plus, she’s kinda cute, in a Sarah Silverman sorta way!) but you need to start going into these things with your eyes wide open. Because if your fictional taste in friends — and actual taste in women — is any indication, this girl could be just another “fake-a**-b*tch.”

Keep this up and, before you know it, you’ll wake up one day and you’ll be a 41-year-old tattooed lady, living in a cramped, studio apartment with zero romantic prospects and an ungodly number of cats.

And the only thing sadder than waking up to the smell of cat piss in the morning? Looking back on your life and regretting that you didn’t pick the gym teacher with the robotic jaw.

Last week, we were so focused on the VMAs that we somehow missed the real story of the week. Apparently, Tila Tequila offered her two cents on Republican John McCain’s new VP nominee (a.k.a. Alaskan governor/Tina Fey lookalike Sarah Palin).

So what’s the gospel according to Tila? Palin’s nothing but a “media whore.”

Not surprisingly, Tila’s controversial avowal prompted reporters and paparazzi to mercilessly hound the Shot at Love 2 star for a follow-up remark. (This time, however, Tila flatly refused).

Meanwhile, we’re just trying to figure out what everyone’s so upset about. After all, we’re talking about reality star, not a political pundit. Shouldn’t Ms. Tequila’s analysis of Palin be taken in the same manner as her eponymous liquor — i.e. swallowed with a giant grain of salt?

+ Natch, we want to hear what you guys think: Should Tila keep her personal politics to herself? Or is she simply guilty of exercising her right to free speech?

Special shout out to:

Teeny-weeny LC… towering over an even teenier-weenier Tila Tequila.

Da-da-da… Speidi! In all their blonde-hair-blue-eyed perfection. Are we really sure these two aren’t related?

Ryan Scheckler having the time of his Life. And looking very grown up, we might add.

Lauren Conrad (girlfriend sure got around!) presenting the award for “Best New Artist” alongside Gossip Girl adonis, Chace Crawford. Blair Waldorf is throwing a fit right now…

Check out more hot pics from the VMAs, behind-the-scenes blogs and a list of all the lucky winners!

Generally, Tila Tequila has been among the more consistent dressers, favoring styles in the tight, sparkly and stomach-baring genre. But now looks like the Shot at Love alum’s trying out something new! Here she is (pictured with her braless new lady love, Courtenay Semel) bearing an uncanny resemblance to Making the Band 4’s Aubrey O’Day. What do you guys think — does Tila’s new look put the “hip” in hippie? Or is it less Bohemian chic…and more Woodstock-inspired geek?

It’s been an incredible year for reality tv-watchers. We’ve sat back and watched as Tila Tequila desecrated a pickle on Shot at Love 2, Lauren refereed between Lo and Audrina on The Hills, Will and Dave built up their dude resumes on Real World: Hollywood, Fonzworth Bentley forced a bunch of gangstas to wear sweater vests (and play cricket!) on G’s to Gents and Life of Ryan star Ryan Sheckler moved into his swingin’ new bachelor pad. But we’ve never seen them all in the same place at the same exact time…until now.

Next Sunday, tune into the 2008 VMAs for a chance to see a veritable smorgasboard of your favorite celebs and reality tv stars. (And that’s just BEFORE the show!)

Be sure to keep a special eye out for The Hills gang, the Real World: Hollywood cast (minus Greg!) Buzzin’ boys Shwayze and Cisco, From G’s to Gents‘ Fonzworth Bentley, Run’s House’s Angela and Vanessa Simmons and, of course, the one and only Tila Tequila. Just think of it as the most amazing MTV crossover episode ever! Or, you know, just a chance to ogle your favorite reality boys and gals while simultaneously envying their lives — and critiquing their outfits.

• Lindsay Lohan denies ever having dated Tila’s main squeeze, Courtenay Semel. (TMZ)

• But is Tila’s new relationship for real?? (Celebuzz)

• Bachelorette runner-up Jason Mesnick says he hasn’t dated anyone since getting dumped on national tv. (E! Online)

• Check out the new cast of Dancing With The Stars! Dan Quayle will be sorely missed. (Popwatch)

• This season, Biggest Loser is a family affair. (NYDN)

“The last guy I, like, dated, like, more than, like, one date, really, was Brody. And that was when Heidi and Spencer set us up. Thats how long it’s been for me. It’s about time.” –Lauren, keeping it real.

“Lo’s always super bitchy. That’s just how she is.” –Audrina, explaining why she and Lauren’s childhood best friend aren’t getting along.

“So…what have you been doing the last four years of your life?” –Doug, pretending he’s never seen a single episode of The Hills.

“Weeeeell, we’re just gonna have to enjoy the company that comes.” –Lo, emerging from her upstairs hideaway long enough to weigh in on Audrina’s diverse friend-group.

“Uh, that would be a pass.” –Spencer, “politely” declining Sister Montag’s offer of homemade breakfast.

“So rude, I’m so embarrassed. He’s just…grumpy.” — Heidi, searching for Spencer’s motivation.

“I just feel like, I have friends that actually treat me good, and I feel included. And, it’s like — you don’t do that…We’ll never be friends.” — Audrina, predicting the future.

+ Anything we left out? Let us know your favorite quote from tonight’s show and tell us your predictions for season 4 of The Hills!

Occasionally, when my heart’s pounding, my pulse is racing and my blood pressure’s higher than Robin Williams on Quaaludes, I find that it helps me to jot down some of my thoughts in poetry-form. And so, with only a few gut-wrenching hours standing between me and The Hills season 4 premiere, I humbly present this rhyming tribute to LC and the gang.

It feels like an eternity since The Hills, season three!
But what has become of Heidi and LC
And everyone else in the Hills universe?
So much to catch up on! Well, first things first

Lauren, Lo and Audrina are still living together
In spite of encountering some “stormy” weather
(Last season, LC and Audrina came to blows
Though many think the blame was Lo’s)

Meanwhile, since blowing off work in Sin City
Heidi and her betrothed have been sitting pretty
Only turns out, Heidi’s boss is unimpressed
And Spencer’s not so welcoming of their new houseguest

So what’s in store for tonight? Lots of renewed tensions
Spastic facial expressions and new hair extensions
Side ponytails, matching jerseys and one amazing first date
Oh, and Lo versus Audrina. That’s 10pm, don’t be late!