After weeks of courting an assortment of blond and buxom Pam Anderson wannabes, Domenico settled on Megan, the mousy house brunette who can’t cook a meatball to save her life. Runner-up Kim was recently spotted in Vegas wearing a baby-doll tee that said, “I went to Italy, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.”

On tonight’s That’s Amore season finale, Kim and Megan got to visit Domenico’s homeland, “one of the most romantic countries in the world.”

Perhaps the most romantic part of their Italian vacay was when Dom and Megan stopped by the town butcher to pick up some delicious swine dinner.

Or maybe it was when Domenico’s grandpa beheaded the following night’s entree.

It’s a good thing Kim packed her fake eyelashes and four-inch stiletto boots — Domenico’s family was overjoyed to meet a real, “classic, American girl,” with such signature physical attributes as silicone boobs, synthetic hair, and acrylic nails. And Acquaro was quite the exclusive community, boasting magical displays of bootleg fireworks, sacred donkeys, and the world’s largest elephant ears.

I sure am gonna miss watching the girls call each other “whoreface.” But that’s about all.

When ravaging your man with two other women, be sure to mark your territory. Start with the feet, so he can’t run away. Look as though you’ve never tasted anything quite so scrumptious as his big, throbbing, ingrown toenail. Spit, don’t swallow.

Between the family-fun game of sucking and spitting cannoli creme, the 20+ Jagerbombs-away moments, and a highly inappropriate comment about Kathleen’s vagina, last night’s “That’s Amore” was a major hangover waiting to happen. It’s not surprising that each girl left in the palazzo sobbed her eyes out. So…