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Ever since Brett deemed Tina unfit for pre-midnight activities at James Franco's raviolli party, she's had a difficult time both coming down from her carb-high and dealing with the loss of her booty call. And since misery loves company (and young Brooklynites), she found comfort in her best friend, Jason, who lost a job, internship and decent pair of denim all in what seemed like the same week. During tonight's episode of "I Just Want My Pants Back," the unhappy twosome tried to drown their sorrows in a joint and jams, but just when it seemed as though their mental escape was coming together perfectly, a bachelorette with penis straws ruined everything.

+ Jason and Tina had a good idea to go out and occupy their mopey minds, but Tina's sorority sister threw a wrench in their plan. Can you ever really party your sadness away, or was their gloom unavoidable? Take the poll!

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Tags Pants' Jason, Pants' Tina, Polls

The twentysomething Brooklynites of "I Just Want My Pants Back" might be masters of witty banter, but their actions speak louder than words--and their actions are often questionable. We're taking a look at the most amateurish (yet awesome) behavior exhibited each week, and keeping a running tally of who's least likely to ever ditch the training wheels and leave the borough's squalor behind them.

TINA: A round of applause, everyone! For the second week in a row, Tina was amateurish beyond our wildest expectations. Though she and best bud Jason had a wallow-fest in the works to help them forget their troubles, she was sidetracked when forced to attend an old friend's bachelorette party. A quick drink with her former sorority sister (...really?) and she'd be out the door--or so she thought. What Tina failed to recognize is that when a group of friends' responsible cog gets loose, it can't be left alone. Tina foolishly held onto the belief that she'd be able to circumvent Stacey's crazy night and still hang with Jason, but it just wasn't gonna happen. SOMETIMES MOMS NEED TENDING TO, TOO.

AMATEUR STANDING: GOLD

JASON: To make his night of life-loathing with Stacey perfect, J thought a certain illegal substance might be in order. Problem was, his dealer was sick and couldn't deliver. But rather than postpone the smoke sesh and defer to booze or Ranch Bugles, the guy got on his bike, rode it to Bushwick in the dark (DON'T!) and arrived at his dealer's house to find him in desperate need of vapor rub application. Kids, this is why you don't do drugs. Well, among other reasons.

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Tags Amateur Olympics, Pants' Eric, Pants' Jason, Pants' Tina

What's the difference between 20 to 10 and 10 to 12? A little over a two hours, which totally explains why Snooki's never on time. "Clock language" can be so difficult to understand! And who says she's the only "Shore"-goer who was never taught how to speak said language the "intelligent way," as she refers to it in the below clip from our latest "Jersey Shore Hook-Up"? "I never learned that in school. I don't understand why someone wouldn't just say 4:10," she says. "Why do you have to say more words than it actually is?"

When challenged by MTV "Challenge" veteran Kenny Santucci to tell the time on Ronnie's blinged-out watch, she dares the rest of her co-stars in attendance to do the same. And, uh, they do it. Our Snooks sure is in a class of her own.

+ Check out the video for a comical discussion between the cast members about Ron's Gumby ankles, Mike's request to play "Varsity Blues," and of course, the intricacies of clock language, then tell us what time it is in the comments.

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Is it a bikini, or a dress? We're not quite sure of its technical fashion sex industry term, but we'd say the slinky whatchamacallit JWOWW donned for Roger all of America during tonight's "Jersey Shore" is a mixture of both (a dressikini?). And it was hardly a shock by now to see the woman who masterminded gravity-defying swimsuits strutting around in an article of clothing purchased at a place called Love Shack. She's got a rich history of causing doubletakes.

Jenni certainly succeeded in her plan to give Roger TWO reasons not to ever ditch her, yet did the sexy outfit cause more trouble than it was worth? Her man did, after all, look as if he was about to slaughter a sticky-fingered clubgoer right as the episode ended. Plus, doesn't the bombshell ever feel uncomfortable leaving the house half naked? That's what Kenny Santucci felt compelled to ask during our latest "Jersey Shore Hook-Up," and the answer was a simple "no." In fact, her only worry about dancing in her so-called "Sunday's Best" is that she might "get bumped into or something, and something will be exposed, but then ya just gotta tape it back on and keep it moving." Besides, that's what pasties are for.

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Ronnie once warned against falling in love at the "Jersey Shore." Three years later--while it might only be temporary--he and the gang have certainly changed their tunes.

While things looked bleak last week for Jenni and Roger, who argued over their commitment to each other, the feisty beauty decided to fight for her relationship instead of let her pride take over. The couple's phone call went far from perfectly, but it ended well, and Roger assured his girlfriend there was no need for her to be insecure.

Deena was fighting for love, as well--from her boss, Danny, who was still pissed she'd ditched work earlier in the week to go drinking. D and Nicole decided a cake would show the Shore Store owner just how sorry they were, and even though baking the thing proved to be more difficult than anticipated (into the oven, girls) it came out beautifully. That is, until the next morning, when Deena noticed a corner piece missing. Immediately, she and the group deemed Mike responsible, as he was the last to head to bed the night before. Pauly later admitted to snagging a piece as a midnight snack--something D laughed off--and Mike lamented the fact that he was "guilty until proven innocent" in the house.

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After the Chef Boyar-Meatballs finished baking an apology cake for Danny during tonight's episode of "Jersey Shore," Snooki took a time out from the kitchen to address her womanly problem in the bathroom. The culprit, of course, was that same pesky UTI she's been dealing with all summer, but we were beside ourselves when Snooks revealed that this was her 10th infection in the past year! Girlfriend needs to put down the pickles and start sucking on some cranberry supplements.

During her trip to the clinic, the physician handed her a prescription for antibiotics, and she left with firm orders to limit her boozing to just one alcoholic beverage per night, which she then completely ignored. In the below clip from this week's "Jersey Shore Hook-Up," host Kenny Santucci puts Snooki on the spot and asks--quite boldly, we might add--why she gets so many friggin' UTIs. "Ear sex," she jokingly (or maybe not) responds, before explaining that neglecting her post-coital scrub-downs is the real cause. That, and the fact that she really likes her alcohol, which blocks the medicine's effectiveness. "You should've taken some of the booze and just poured it right on the UTI," Dr. Santucci suggests. Watch the video to see if she considers his advice.

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As Mike's feelings for Paula intensify and Ronnie and Sammi continue a trend of harmony, Season 5 of "Jersey Shore" is starting to reek of domesticity. But the guys' real time excursions say otherwise. Ron, Pauly and Vinny stopped by "Live! with Kelly" this morning and assured Regis' former counterpart that there are no white picket fences on the horizon, and they are all still very much in the market for one-night smushes.

The trio that did NOT have Mike's back also discussed filming, the dissolution of SamRon and if any person in particular triggered Vin's anxiety. Oh, and as is standard operating procedure when a "Shore" ambassador stops by the set, the guys were challenged with popping balloons between their bodies and those of the hosts.

+ Check out the clip below to see how the competition played out and for a much-appreciated throwback to "SHE'S TOO YOUNG FOR YOU, BRO!"

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Photo courtesy of @LiveKelly

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For the first half of this season's "Teen Mom 2," it truly seemed as though Chelsea's progress in life was at a standstill. She reinjured her knee and was forced to spend a lot of time off her feet, and was just generally stuck in an unproductive rut, but something finally clicked and she found the drive to get back on track. The aspiring hair stylist enrolled in a GED prep program and passed the first test, and even got a job at a local tanning salon.

In this bonus scene from the finale, Chelsea proudly sits down with her friend Erika to update her on all of the exciting news. The young mom finally feels good about herself and is relieved to be moving in a positive direction. While it looked like Chelsea was leaning towards getting back with Adam at the end of the episode, we hope that doesn't sidetrack her from completing all of her goals.

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Yes, we called Wes a softie earlier this week--but to be fair, we qualified that he's a softie while around his son. When his attention is directed at picking up women, it seems he is just as adamant about securing a win as he is inside the cage, and no single gal is safe.

Wes and a buddy thumb through their virtual Rolodexes in this sneak peek of Monday's all-new episode, but neither has time to be diplomatic about what they're after. You're tired from work? Your feet are sore? These guys don't really want to hear about it--just cut to the chase and tell them if you're on your way. Sadly, most are not, and Wes gets more dial tones than does an operator. How do the guys on "Jersey Shore" do it? We ask ourselves every day, guy.

+ Take a look at the clip below, and tell us if you think Wes' abrasive approach will ever earn him a girl. Honey over vinegar, Wes. Honey over vinegar.

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Paula may have kicked off tonight's episode of "Exes" by playing matchmaker to Camila, telling her that she and Johnny Bananas made a cute couple, but she probably wasn't expecting ol' JB to return the favor. While the pent-up Challengers were bumping and grinding at the local watering hole, Paula rubbed her beer goggles long enough to discover that Ty, the guy she'd been dancing with, was "not ugly to look at." Their flirting piqued our interest as it did Johnny's, and he quickly dared Ty to bury his face in Paula's rack. So, as the green strobe lights flashed and Diem body-rolled for her partner, Paula stood still and allowed Ty to take a shot out of her tatas.

+ Paula has a boyfriend back home, but do you think she should forget about him and give in to temptation? Take the poll, then check out a clip from this week's "Ex-ual Tension," where Ty and Paula get a chance to clear the air. Paula justifies their behavior by saying that Ty stopped being such a sucky person for once and she was enjoying his company. Be sure to watch the second video, though, because Paula confesses that her boyfriend specifically asked her NOT to get in bed with Ty prior to coming on the show. (He didn't say anything about body shots though.)

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