Let's face it: the question isn't "Why didn't Femi win?" so much as "How in the hell did he make it this long?" From the moment he started in with the animal chants, we all knew Femi wasn't what one would call "Bromance" material. And looking back, there were definitely a few more instances that sealed his fate.

A quick review of where poor, misguided Femi went wrong:

1. He was not nearly complimentary enough of Brody Jenner's mom, Linda. (Trust us, it matters.)

2. He continued to insist that he's a "Fashion King," while providing no concrete evidence to support this theory.

3. He did NOT take the poor, disabled girl to her senior prom, unlike some OTHER Bromance finalists we can think of ...

4. He ditched Brody twice in less than 24 hours in order to make out with his fidelity-challenged ex.

5. He then accused Luke of being a bad host (Pot? Meet Kettle...) for not getting into a bar brawl defending Brody's honor.

And while Femi annoyed us by carrying out the animal metaphors until the bitter end ("Roar! I'm a Lion!"), we gotta give him props for staying the course. As he said himself:

"I have no regrets -- I was myself from day one. I'm myself now -- whatever day it is."

For the record, Femi, it's Monday. But more importantly, it's the day Everyone You've Ever Met saw you get dumped in a parking garage. On TV. While dressed up in Kevin Bacon's ugly 80's Footloose prom tux. Tough break, bro.

After six weeks of searching for true bromance, Brody Jenner finally settled on happily chose Luke to become the fourth member of his VIP posse. We're not gonna ask if you think he made the right decision -- cuz clearly Femi belongs back in Jacksonville kissing his girlfriend's lips (as opposed to Brody's ass). The real question is whether these new besties can stand the test of time. For reals, can a wicked down-to-earth guy like Luke keep up with BJ's lavish lifestyle? Will Brody even want Luke as his wingman after the dust has settled? You tell us: What's this bromance's expiration date?

The truth hurts -- and so does getting asked about your porn preferences on national TV. Fortunately, Chris F., Femi and Luke came out (mostly) unscathed after being hooked up to a lie detector test and grilled by Brody's mom, Linda Thompson.

And while we had to give Linda props for some of her more imaginative questions (i.e. "Do you think you'll have any fantasies about me once you get out of this room?"), it seemed like a disproportionate number of her inquiries centered around ... herself.

+ Think Brody's mommy was just trying to make the guys uncomfortable while she screened them? Or was she secretly fishing for compliments? Either way, here's a couple of questions we think Linda "forgot" to ask.

• On a scale from 1-10, how attractive am I? (Remember: your answer can -- and will -- be used against you.)

• Are you aware that I am a former Miss Tennessee?

• At this very moment, are you more concerned with winning Brody's friendship -- or seeing what I look like in a bikini? Be honest.

• As you (undoubtedly) know, my life was the basis for the 1981 TV movie classic, Elvis and the Beauty Queen. If they were to do a remake today, which hard-bodied Hollywood starlet should play me and why?

• "MILF" is a term that gets thrown around a lot these days. Please explain what it means to you, in 50 words or less. Feel free to use me in your answer.

• Have you ever thought about dating an older woman? Are you thinking about it right now?

Anything else Brody's mom left out? Tell us what YOU think she should've asked the final three guys to help Brody narrow it down.

We've got three guys left -- Femi, Luke and Chris F. -- but only one spot in Brody's Hollywood entourage. And in order to decide who gets it, the Jenner jeans entrepreneur is introducing the boys to his (Elvis-dating!) mom -- and heading to their hometowns to do some behind-the-scenes recon. So who's Brody gonna pick? Scan these scenes from next week's finale, then take our poll and tell us who deserves to get Bromantic!

BONUS: Rememba that scene from The 40-Year-Old Virgin where Steve Carell gets his chest hair waxed? Sure looked like it hurt, right? That's cuz it does. Lots! And now Luke has firsthand knowledge of the pain. Watch this clip of his bro-mandated trip to the spa and feel the burn...

Turns out, it all started WAAAAAY before the camping trip. Take another look at last night's beautiful bromontage, and tell us whether you think Alex's BFFship with Luke ended up costing him a spot in Brody's entourage.

"People need to get over that. Lauren [Conrad] and I are just friends and I think it's good we're friends. I love her to death ... but we're just friends and that's how we'll keep it."

-- Hills/Bromance star Brody Jenner, ruining our dream of seeing him end up with one-time girlfriend turned "platonic" pal, Lauren Conrad. (AP, via Brody Jenner's blog)

Mondays in Detoxopia are jam-packed with MTV-viewing goodness, not only because I get my weekly insulin treatment in the form of Olivia Palermo, but it also means fun fashion tips! (Sometimes you need to wear something else besides a tee shirt.) Lucky for me, I got a little help from Brody Jenner and Malan Breton from Seasons 2 and 3 of Project Runway on how to wear my new, stylish JENNER JEANS!

Actually, not lucky at all. The whole thing turned out to be a horribly evil prank executed by the unlikely alliance of Brody and Malan! But I guess it was all in good fun. Malan and I ended up chatting about the hideous Jenner jeans and our mutual fascination with Giant Suri Cruise. He was also nice enough to share his deliciously evil laugh with us! Yay, Malan! (Keep your eyes peeled for new Malan goodies in NYC's upcoming Fashion Week, friends!)

Still, it was a day of broken hearts at Detox -- not only was I rejected by Vanessa Simmons during a grueling speed-dating session, but things were also sour in The City. The sub-plot of two barely-known characters caught on fire when there was explosive drama between the couple! And we've secured the raw audio from the tapes...

Tomorrow be sure to check back in when our awesome guest, art-rockin Ponytail, helps us discuss an especially scandalous Double Shot at Love. As my girl Olivia would coo, "Toodles!"

P.S. This is the last time I'll be naked on MTV Detox for awhile. PROMISE.

After dressing the boys up in "lame-ass jeans" and making them walk the red carpet, Brody turned up the heat tonight by introducing the final four bros to some Playboy Playmates. And despite Femi's (admitted) overconfidence and Chris' whiney anti-clique rant, Brody decided to sake it to Alex for hiding behind Luke's shadow. Think he sent the right bro packin'? Take our poll and let us know which dude should've been chucked faster than a pair of Jenner jeans.

Well, ever since Michael checked out of Casa Boy Crush, we've been hurting our brains trying to figure out why he had such elaborate expectations. So when he stopped by the office last week to make a guest appearance on MTV Detox, we cornered him with a few questions....

First up: Of the remaining bros, who do you think has the best shot at becoming Brody Jenner's BFF?

Hard-hitting question No. 2:  The Hills? Really?

And lastly, we were feeling a lil' Last Supperish right before it was time for Mike to ride off again in search of LC, so we felt it was important to ask if he had any regrets about going on the show. Check out his surprising response after the jump!