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partyfauxpas

Forget about high school hallways -- prime awkward territory lies within the proverbial hallowed walls of a teenage house party. Anyone who ever went to a post-homecoming game kegger knows this firsthand, especially Jenna and her PHHS cronies. They've certainly had more than their fair share of colossal social gaffes (seriously, who keeps inviting them?), and last week's costume shindig snafus were no exception, even if Jenna came out smelling like a rose.

Two months into junior year, and our "Awkward" pals are already taking party DON'Ts to a whole new level. Our advice? Live and learn from their mistakes:

DON'T crash a costume party -- sans costume -- and then break s**t. And definitely don't steal stuff, either, Saxton! When Jenna forced Matty, Jakara and Sadie to accompany her to Collin's GF's costume bash -- uninvited and in plainclothes -- the drama wrote itself. From Sadie searching for the golden-horseshoe-that-wasn't-hers to Jake downing magic space cookies and crashing into coffee tables, we're pretty sure this group wore out their welcome, fast. If you absolutely must tote around your band of clumsy kleptomaniacs, the least you can do is take Jenna's route and apologize profusely for letting them run amok.

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laceymom

If "Mother of the Year" was a real award (and not just a mug sold at Hallmark stores), nobody would be surprised if Lacey Hamilton's name was missing from the nominees. Jenna's mom is sorta superficial, kinda kooky and can be extraordinarily hard on her own flesh and blood. She also has the strange idea that potato-chip casseroles and hot tubs make everything better (*face palm*), but truth be told, Jenna could do a lot worse than her "Awkward" maker.

Mother's Day is right around the corner, and we think Hot Mama Hamilton deserves a break from all the hate (we're lookin' at you, Mr. and Mrs. McKibben). Besides, judging from last week's episode, Lacey's starting to develop a maternal instinct that, while not quite at Mary Poppins level yet, is pretty decent. She may not be perfect, but she certainly ain't so bad. At the heart of it, she just wants Jenna to have everything she never did.

We can think of a lot of reasons why Lacey rocks our socks -- here are just a few, for your viewing pleasure:

She empathizes like a champ. After putting Matty's unreasonable parents in their place post-that really uncomfortable sex talk, Lacey went out of her way to cheer up her humiliated daughter with a story about her own awkward teen years. Honestly? It was really quite...touching.

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sadiesad_2

It's an understatement to say that Sadie Saxton is the queen of mean -- seriously, not even the uber-friendly Beau Mirchoff would want her at his lunch table -- but sometimes...okay, very few times, the emo kid inside Sades rears her mascara-streaked face in a cry for help. The bad bitch we love to hate actually has a secret sensitive side, which makes us wonder if all her rude zingers are just a front for her rabid insecurities. After all, isn't that the definition of a bully?

Last week's "Awkward" showed Sadie at her most vulnerable, and her semi-desperate pleas for a heart-to-heart with Matty kinda came as a shock. "No one cares if I'm alive or dead, I may as well be Ricky," Sadie confessed to Matty, just before assuring him that she loves herself too much to do anything stupid. Thank Lissa's God for that. Still, nothing could have prepared us for Sadie breaking down her barriers to admit she's downright scared, and that wasn't even her most sensitive moment to date...

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snookijwowwrelationship

Fuhgettabout "The Rules." Everything you need to know about relationships you can learn from watching "Snooki & JWOWW." Snicker all you want, but the two BFFs clearly know what's up in Loversville, as evidenced throughout Season 2.

No, Snooki, Jenni and their boys weren't born experts in the art of coupling -- we've seen Roger all but beg to get it in, JWOWW cop to a selfish streak, Jionni send some hateful texts and Snooki infamously flash her koo-kah in public -- but their mistakes have taught them how to work through their issues in a healthy way, and these days, both pairs are able to make up rather quickly following an argument.

One of the truest tests of a solid relationship is being able to survive the rough patches, but there are plenty more tips to consider! Below, check out six important lessons imparted this season of "S&J."

snookijionnikiss

 1. Communicate honestly and openly. After their epic girls' night out, both Nicole and Jenni found themselves in the doghouse with their men. (A schwasted Shnooki made out with a handful of her girlfriends while Jionni stayed home with the baby, and a mucho hung over JWOWW flaked on afternoon plans with Roger.) After what seemed like an eternity of silent treatment, both couples had sit-downs and discussed their feelings like mature adults. And then they kissed and made up. How...easy!

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snooki_jionni_mad

Hoo boy, we haven't been this scared for Snionni since that whole koo-kah incident in Italy.

Sure, when Snooki gets schwastey faced she can be a little, er, free with her actions, but as of late, her benders have been virtually non-existent thanks to little Lorenzo. And then Girls' Night Out happened.

It isn't necessarily a crime to make up for lost time, but when doing Sake Bombs and vodka shots ALL NIGHT LONG leads to making out with your best friend...and another best friend...and her best friend, it's possible the father of your child might get a little peeved. Yet although Snooks expected Jionni to be judgmental when she fessed up about her tryst via text, she definitely wasn't prepared for his resulting freak-out. Jionni called her a coward, a horrible mom and an equally bad fiancée, and demanded that she stay far away from him. Yee-ouch.

+ Nicole may have appeared to be auditioning for Guidettes Gone Wild, but her black-out behavior is a rare occurrence nowadays. So, were Jionni's biting comments out of line? Vote in our poll, and see how their fight plays out on tonight's "Snooki & JWOWW" season finale at 10/9c!

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gnosnooki

High-pitched giggles, butt-to-crotch dancing and post-sushi/Sake Bomb nausea are all integral parts of a successful Girls' Night Out, as we saw on last week's episode of "Snooki & JWOWW," and though the ladies were surely hurting the next morning, they seemed to have a damn good time on the town together. It got us thinking: What are the wildest, woolliest females-only field trips in MTV history?

We spent a day digging through the archives to find the answer, and landed upon five memorable chick outings that set a high party standard. Beginning with Snooki and Jenni's recent debauchery, here are five of our favorites.

"I'M A MOM!"
"I don't wanna do any shots. Maybe, like, one," said Snooki mere hours before drunkenly making out with her friends. Snooks was on a mission to make up for the 10 months of party time she lost during her pregnancy, and her crew didn't waste a second welcoming her back to the dark side. The girls were all pretty lit before they actually reached the club -- poor Nina didn't even make it inside after spewing raw tuna chunks all over Ryder -- and the meatballs were in total blackout mode. In the words of JWOWW, the entire night was like "a guidette sorority house." Sure, if you swap pillow fights for shots of Patrón!

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RogerRugTightieWhitie

Nope. Doesn't take much for us Remote Control bloggers to "BAWWWWHH!!!" at the ol' boob tube (or cry into our bowl of Cap'n Crunch Berries...depending on who's single and who's in lurve, of course). Be it a flaming confession of lust in the backwoods of West Virginia or a first-time sexcapade in a stank minivan strewn with rose petals, MTV's had its fair share of majorly romantic gestures, especially when it comes to proposing happily-ever-afters.

We brought you the biggest, baddest breakups in MTV history, and now let's take a look back at the network's most romantical marriage proposals, inspired by last week's very emotional "Snooki & JWOWW." Side note: We can proudly say that no one has popped the question using the Shirt Under The Shirt...yet.

Free Fallin' Into Forever
After watching her BFF get engaged and birth a mini-meatball in less than a year, JWOWW's own future love life looked bleak. If Roger wasn't begging to get it in, the couple was bickering about everything under the Jersey sun. Alas, despite their infrequent use of the Smush Room, we were always rooting for these two. After getting our hopes up with a HUGE F**KING PINK LIMO, followed by a very empty slice of cheesecake, we mentally berated Roger for acting like a giant gorilla dimwit. Don't tease us so! That is, until Jenni "I hate heights" Farley jumped out of an airplane and into the arms of her boyfriend, and put on her shiny new diamond ring. That's the way it's done. Guys, are you taking notes?

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During the span of Season 1, we definitely learned a thing or two from Shain and his rowdy "BUCKWILD" crew -- mainly about how to put your physical well-being at risk with makeshift toys and some duct tape. But perhaps the cast's most practical teachings dealt with the etymology behind The Wolfpen Holler. Whereas the "Jersey Shore" brought us grenades and GTL, "BUCKWILD" blessed us common folk with a whole slew of funky, new terms. Freshen up your memory with this backwoods slangtionary!

Daggone [expression]
Definition: A polite way of saying "damn." (e.g. "My pickup truck broke down in the daggone mud! Now what am I gonna do?")

Holler [noun]
Definition: A very small valley that houses a tight-knit, rustic community in between two mountains. (e.g. "I ain't got no Facebook. If I need a cup of milk, I'm gonna holler at my neighbors, and they'll bring it 'cause everything echoes in a holler.")

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"WARNING: This show features wild and crazy behavior that could result in serious personal injury or property damage. MTV and the producers insist that no one attempt to recreate or re-enact any activity performed." Sound familiar? Each week, Remote Control is bringing you the most insane stunts pulled on "BUCKWILD" to serve as a warning to impressionable young souls: Don't try this at home. Especially the following...

DON'T hook up with your girl's friend and lie about it. Love triangle alert! Remember when we said you shouldn't bump 'n' grind in your bestie's bed? Well, the same goes for hooking up with her man. When Tyler tapped Ashley in a pickup truck and then pretended it never happened, not only could Katie's screams be heard through all of Sissonville, but the tryst threatened his lake trip attendance -- because nobody believed him. Fortunately, playing ultimate stuntman in the woods meant more to Tyler than keeping up the charade, and he came clean so he wouldn't be left behind.

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"WARNING: This show features wild and crazy behavior that could result in serious personal injury or property damage. MTV and the producers insist that no one attempt to recreate or re-enact any activity performed." Sound familiar? Each week, Remote Control is bringing you the most insane stunts pulled on "BUCKWILD" to serve as a warning to impressionable young souls: Don't try this at home. Especially the following...

DON'T jump over bonfires. One way to seal the deal with your Cinco de Sissonville crush? Ask him to jump over a blazing fire in exchange for a smooch on the lips! Or don't. Really, just don't. It's a good thing Anna's Rico Suave didn't burn up trying to impress her, or she'd have nothing left to pine over. Flowers work too, A!

DON'T bury your life savings. When Joey and Tyler caught Shain with a jar full of dough (money, mind you -- we're not talkin' 'bout the innards of Gandee Candy), the boys were clearly intrigued. Despite his friends saying they'd dig it up to steal later on, Shain insisted on putting his cash in the ground. So, not only will he have to contend with greedy friends to eventually uncover his hard-earned money, he'll also need to brush up on his cartography skills to find it again. Word of advice: If you need to store your dinero someplace safe, try a bank and not the bushes.

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