A ‘Punk’d’ Guide To Parenting For Rumored Dad-To-Be Ashton Kutcher

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Engaged couple Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis enjoy a Steelers game in Pittsburgh last September.

With a baseball cap permanently glued to his head, “Punk’d” frontman and overall goofball Ashton Kutcher is known for his youthful, easy-going spirit, but according to the rumor mill, he and fiancé Mila Kunis are about to take on the most grown-up of responsibilities: They’re (maybe) having a baby! The two former “’70s Show” stars, who have been together for two years, recently caught the attention of the press when Mila was spotted at a prenatal yoga class, and we can only PRAY that means there’s a Kelso Jr. on the way!

Raising a kid is no joke, but thankfully, Ashton has already set himself up with some parenting pointers from his “Punk’d” days. Between a Christmas disaster and a case of a pronounced potty-mouth, here are five child-rearing lessons Ashton can glean from his old gig.

1. Keep a close eye on the wee ones: Elisha Cuthbert found herself in quite an uncomfortable situation on “Punk’d” when she and a friend stumbled upon an unattended baby in a parking lot at night, and the predicament became more troubling when the child’s mother eventually arrived, who was implicated for negligence by the police. Remember, A. Kutch, these types of scuffles can be avoided if you remember to keep your young one with you at all times — remember to register for a Baby Bjorn!

2. The holidays can really test you: Nowadays, Beyoncé knows motherhood like the back of her hand, but a few years back, the superstar wasn’t quite prepared for how to handle a group of disappointed kids, and when an episode saw her knock over a huge tree that ruined gifts for underprivileged students, she looked ready to bawl. Ashton, Christmas never goes as scheduled — ALWAYS have a back-up plan!

3. A swear jar goes a long way: Jessica Biel was out to dinner with a friend when a fellow patron and fan unexpectedly asked her to watch his son while he went to his car. The little guy had quite the mouth on him, and it was a test for Jess to keep her cool while his lewd comments piled up. Ashton, don’t let your child get away with cussin’ — force him to feed the piggy bank any time he talks smack.

4. Honesty is a virtue: Rihanna can be pretty provocative (just ask Jenelle Evans, star of Riri’s new tour promo), but you can always count on her to keep it real. On “Punk’d,” though, her integrity was called into question when she was accused of stealing from young street performers, and when the police got involved, Rihanna was forced to defend her morality. Teach your kids that truthfulness is the way to go, Ashton, and they hopefully won’t burn bridges with pop phenoms.

5. Arts enrichment is crucial: If your baby isn’t feeling well, Ashton, remember that a goodnight lullaby can silence even the loudest cries — or, in the case of Ashley Tisdale, it can wake a child from a coma. Sadly, the kid’s consciousness didn’t last, and Ashley was forced to explain the spectacle to his hopeful mother, who didn’t get a chance to see her son awake. Awwwwkward.

Photo: Justin K. Aller/Getty Images