“I think every girl should have a gay friend named Joey, because every guy named Joey who’s gay is f**king amazing.” –Snooki
There are not one, but THREE unsung superstars of “Snooki & JWOWW,” and collectively they are known as “The Gay Joeys.” We’ve had the privilege of getting to know the trio as they popped up on the show over the seasons, but when we got to spend a full half-hour of quality time with them during last week’s drag fest, we positively FELL IN LOVE. We’re not gonna lie, it took us some time to figure out which Joey was which, but by golly, we’ve got it down now!
According to Jenni, each Joey semi-represents a different stereotype of the gay male rainbow, and with a little help from Urban Dictionary, we’ve outlined the best way to tell them apart. So study up, and when you’ve learned the differences between each guy, check out our five favorite Gay Joey moments!
Gay Joey #1 (JWOWW’s Joey)
The twink: A slender, boyish-looking gay man with little to no body hair.
Gay Joey #2 (Snooki’s Joey)
The bear: A husky, larger gay man with a lot of body hair.
Gay Joey #3 (K9ndergarten Joey)
The otter: A slender, bear-like gay man with facial hair.
The Gay Joeys Join Snooki and JWOWW For a Drag Party
With Roger and Jionni gon’ fishin’, the girls took their fiancé-free time as an opportunity to party with their gay besties. Mix in professional drag queen Kurtis (a.k.a. Miss Fame), and you’re left with a stunning array of sultry wigs, sequined dresses and sweaty balls worthy of the best damn drag show in all of Jersey.
The Gay Joeys Hit Up The Girls’ Housewarming Party
We first met the adorable Joeys #1 and #2 during Season 1, when Gay Joey #2 was caught randomly sniffing Roger just before dousing himself in Jenni’s spray-on bronzer. While the majority of the bronzer made it into Joey #2′s butt crack, we still say he could pass for a gorilla juicehead any day…that is, until he opens his mouth and rainbows start shooting out of it.
Gay Joey #3 Has Snooki Questioning All The Joeys In Jersey
While introducing Jenni’s pups to the folks at K9dergarten Dog Day Care, Snooki and JWOWW met yet another Gay Joey, who quickly became the missing link to form our trio of same-name goofballs. Naturally, Nicole couldn’t help but ponder the Joey phenomenon: “Maybe all the Joeys in the tri-state area are gay?” One can hope…
The Gay Joeys Try On Wedding Dresses
In terms of fashion, the best feedback often comes in the form of a gay man’s opinion, as evidenced earlier this season when the two brides-to-be tried on wedding dresses with their Joeys. Though Gay Joey #2 had a tough time securing “size fat,” the boys looked absolutely gorge in their gowns. They sure know how to werk!
The Gay Joeys Take Fake Babies To The Gay Bar
When Nicole and Jenni procured fake babies in order to help Snooki prepare for motherhood, the girls hit up the gay bar with their Joeys (and plastic dolls) in tow for Gay Joey-palooza. From fruitless breastfeeding attempts to changing diapers, the boys would definitely make better babysitters when booze isn’t involved.