We’ve always known that Snooki dances to the beat of a different drummer, but it wasn’t until last week’s episode of “Snooki & JWOWW” that the pint-sized guidette hinted at a possible source for her uniqueness: She could be part alien!
Nicole, who’s adopted, confessed to Jenni that she’d love to know more about her ancestry, both for her sake and Lorenzo’s benefit. “Like, my son is half Chilean, half Italian and half alien? I don’t know,” Nicole told her best friend. Erm, three halves don’t make a whole on Earth…but maybe they do on Planet Meatball? In fact, the more we think about it, the more a UFO birth makes sense for our Snooki. While her weirdness is one of the many reasons we love her, some things about her are a little too out of this world. Let us investigate:
She’s got superhuman strength. Nicole is a beast in a teeny, tiny Chilean body. She does push-ups in high heels and can support the weight of a grown man nearly three times her size with only her legs. That s**t ain’t normal.
She’s obsessed with high-flying rides. Snooki looooooves her amusement parks, whether they’re big and mighty, like Disney, or small and rickety, like Seaside Heights’ FunTown. From the sky ride to the Ferris wheel, Nicole spent many an evening blasting herself several feet into the air…which, upon reflection, could have been her attempt to get closer to her native planet.
She’s a magnet for the paranormal. During a double date to a haunted house (how romantical!), the ghosties took a real liking to Nicole, not only spewing supernatural air up her back, but also uttering “Mommy” in her presence. Things not of this world often seek refuge in others not of this world.
She can predict the future. Or, so Psychic Snooki thinks. There were those eerie 2012 predictions she made about the failing economy to the The Wall Street Journal, and more recently, the idea of a future hookup between Lorenzo and Pauly D‘s baby girl, Amabella. Somebody go add astrology to this girl’s list of top-secret talents, stat.
Her fellow meatballs are susceptible to encounters of the third kind. Deena swore up and down she saw an alien flying on an “asteroid-UFO” during Season 5 of “Jersey Shore.” We wouldn’t be surprised if D’s mystery alien was actually from Planet Meatball, sent to Earth to search for her two long-lost sisters.
+ Alien or not, Snooki is determined to get to the bottom of her mystery genetics by taking a DNA test, so tune in tonight at 10/9c to find out the results!