Are you one of those girls who doesn’t get on with other ladies? It could be them, but we’re gonna go ahead and guess the problem is you — especially if your favorite sentence is “I just get along better with guys.”
Maybe it’s your bitchy resting face, maybe it’s your abject hatred of shopping and “Sex and the City,” or maybe — just maybe — you’ve been breaking the cardinal rules of “Girl Code” without even realizing it. Regardless, no girl can get by without at least one solid gal pal by her side, and if you’re lacking in that department, it’s time to figure out how to be the best wingwoman you can be.
Introducing: the five commandments of “Girl Code” — they’re the perfect baseline for any true female BFFship, and if you can follow them with an open heart and mind, you’ll find getting in with the girls is much easier than you thought. Sure, we ladies can be petty and dramatic and shrill, but when you just want to blow off some steam or need a shoulder to cry on, no one else comes close — not even your best dude-friend, who (we assure you) would much rather play World of Warcraft than listen to you complain about your breakup.
+ Check yourself against this list to see if you’re practicing good best friend behavior, and let us know if you’ve ever dealt with a broken “Girl Code” commandment in the comments!
1. Thou shalt not steal your friends’ boyfriends. This one pretty much goes without saying, but we’re putting it out there in case some of you — and you know who you are — occasionally need reminding. No matter what the mitigating factors, we guarantee you she won’t understand, and neither will your mutual friends/Everyone You Know On Facebook once word of your betrayal leaks out. (Unless, of course, you’re Olivia Pope of “Scandal,” in which case we heart your white coats/all is forgiven/please be our bestie.)
2. Thou shalt practice constructive criticism. Everyone says they want total honesty in a BFF but the truth is, that’s a load of BS. Think your friend’s skinny jeans make her ass look like a Winnebago? This is an example of a thing you DO NOT SAY. Instead, tactfully discourage her without shattering her self-esteem. Try something like, “Hmm, not sure if I’m loving those pants on you.” And if that doesn’t work, “accidentally” spill something that stains near the crotch area. Stealth BFF moves FTW!
3. Thou shalt know when to STFU. Little white lies are one thing, but what do you do when your bestie tells you her d-bag frat-bro boyfriend finally popped the question? Well, that depends on how badly you want this girl in your life. Thing is, hating a friend’s beau is kind of a nonstarter. You can either tell her the truth and risk losing her forever (a la Lauren Conrad), or suck it up, congratulate her ’til your cheeks hurts from fake-smiling and try to come around on the guy. Dishonest? Maybe, but sometimes being a friend means accepting what you can’t change…and keeping your unsupportive thoughts to yourself.
4. Thou shalt use the buddy system. Not all Happy Hours have a happy ending — and when your vision starts to blur, it’s easier than ever to make bad decisions (see: Texts from Last Night) or leave one of your ladies in her time of need. And FYI, the booze is no excuse. If you left your wingwoman in the clutches of some skeezy guy (or worse, the porcelain throne), that’s 100% on you — and it’s 100% preventable. Next time, be a pal and agree to watch each other’s backs…or she’ll post that vid of you hopping up on the bar at Houlihan’s and doing your best “Coyote Ugly” impression. Emphasis on the “ugly.” #karma
5. Thou shalt stick it out through thick and thin. Everyone loves dance parties, Sunday Fundays and gossipy brunches, but there’s a not-so-glam side to friendship, too. When your friend is going through a rough patch — one that fuses her butt to the couch and her hand to a box of tissues — you’ve got to be there for her, no matter how depressing it is to hang out with someone who hates life and won’t change out of PJs. This isn’t about you, it’s about how far you’ll go to help the people you love. Even if that means another night of takeout Chinese and binge-watching “Scandal.” (Your BFF Olivia Pope would expect nothing less.)
Photos: Colin Gray/Michele Crowe