With the crisp autumn breeze, LOL Jack-o-Lanterns and a closet full of cute, stripy sweaters considered, fall should be the best time of year. The only problem? Your better half won’t SHUT THE EFF UP about his stupid fantasy football team. But here’s a “Girl Code” secret: While you can’t cure your man of his FF-addiction, you CAN find a way to make it work for you. Introducing: Operation Take Back The Season. Read on and learn how your boyfriend’s not-so-secret fantasy life can actually make all your dreams come true, one perk at a time.
Perk #1: You just got 10+ hours of free time — On average, your guy’s FF-addiction is eating away approximately 10 hours of his week. So instead of bitching about being a Football Widow, say a silent prayer of thanks — you just got the magical gift of time! So what if he wants to spend the better part of his week glued to his laptop? Use those precious 600 minutes to throw a “Scandal” viewing party, schedule a Sunday Funday brunch or just sleep in. Beats pretending to listen while he yammers on about box scores…
Perk #2: An opportunity to score an easy TD with his friends — Nobody’s asking you to go all Stepford Wife every Sunday, but there’s no harm in tidying up a bit for your guests. Don’t lose sleep over the task, though — your boyfriend’s friends would gladly watch the game from a radioactive sewer if it included HD. To score some real points with your boy/his boys, stock the fridge with a couple of six-packs (no Amstel Lights, lady!) and place an order for pizza and hot wings an hour before kickoff. Then take yourself out for a congratulatory shop ‘n’ lunch while the guys enjoy the fruits of your labor. You’ll have those idiots in the palm of your hand.
Perk #3: His Win Is Your Win — You may have zero tolerance for a man whose mental stability revolves around his imaginary NFL roster, but know this: When your guy wins at Fantasy, you win too. One first-place finish, and suddenly your dude’s walking around like he’s friggin’ Stella after getting her groove back. That being said: Be wary of the inevitable fall. When the FF-master’s winning streak is finally snapped, offer a few (empty) words of consolation, then get the hell outta there. Heartless? Maybe. Then again, you don’t wanna be late for spin class!
Bonus tip: Never, ever give up your remote control without a fight. When Monday Night Football conflicts with “The Voice,” do what you’ve gotta do to catch those spinning chairs in action.
Dig Remote Control? Follow us on Twitter, like, now.