The Best ‘Big Tips Texas’ Premiere Quotes In Memes!

Turd

What do the ladies of Redneck Heaven serve up besides stiff drinks? Quotes to live and die by. On tonight’s premiere of “Big Tips Texas,” the vets and newbies alike took time out between mixing drinks and tending to their knocked-up goats to dish out some lines of dialogue worthy of any Jack Handey segment. The bar might not be a school, but step inside and you’ll certainly get an education.

From the moment Macy said “Let’s make like a turd and hit the trail!” we knew we were in for an hour of silver-tongued oration, and everyone from longtime employee Amber to Harvard hopeful Sabrina offered sentiments that would be right at home on any refrigerator door magnet. Check out our favorite quotes from the premiere, and feel free to share our fine art with friends!

Morgan a.k.a. Bitch Face, on her friend and fellow new girl Macy’s (relative) innocence:

Macy

Morgan, on her family goat’s failure to use protection:

Penelope

Amber a.k.a. Sexy Kitten, on the attention she draws during a typical girls’ night out:

Mom

Typhani, on Amber’s professional weaknesses:

Typhani

Amber, on being susceptible to getting the boot from Redneck Heaven, despite her veteran status:

SacredCow

Morgan, dissing and dismissing Amber Felicia after both were reprimanded by Typhani for fighting:

Felicia

Amber, instructing Macy on how to drink Redneck Heaven’s trademark Minnow Bomb:

Shot

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