Listen up, students: The millennial trend of giving every kid an “A” for effort has no place in “Failosophy” class.” Chief failosopher Hasan Minhaj proved as much on tonight’s premiere, when the host and his round table offered no participation trophies to bee sting victims, pool-peeing culprits and coconut bra wearers. Still, there were three contestants that shot straight to the top of the #FAIL-o-meter — the best of the worst, if you will — and we want to know which you thought was the most offensive.
First, Hasan gave the floor to a nursing student who brought us through the trials of having to sh** really badly during a test. Hey, we’ve all been there, but what was unusual in this pupil’s case was that instead of defying his teacher and making his way to the bathroom, he sat in pain until the “boo boo” he’d been holding in leaked down his leg. Sounds like we have a winner, folks! Then again, the woman who admitted to listening to Rebecca Black’s “Friday” every Friday for an entire year may just have him beat. Or, does the guy who took a selfie while pouring chocolate sauce down his torso deserve top honors? We feel guilty for even making you choose.
+ Who brought home the title of #BiggestFAIL on tonight’s premiere? Take the poll!
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