10 Things Actually Lamer Than Mike’s Breakup With Paula

Talk about a waste of GTB (Gym, Tan, Breakup with Paula). We’re with Pauly D and Vinny on this–Mike‘s (literal) kiss goodbye to his gf on last week’s “Jersey Shore” was mad disappointing. There was no “Let’s make it unofficial” Shirt Under The Shirt, no tears, no cursing and NO FLYING ASS PADS. But even though his few sweet words and cheap pecks on the lips were not in the same entertainment camp as, sayyyy, a day-drinking arrest, we’ve seen much worse. Here, 10 things actually lamer than Sitch’s too-tame trip to Splitsville:

1. Vinny’s vow of celibacy. Vin’s intention of keeping it in his pants lasted about as long as Mike’s relationship. Truth: He likely would’ve smushed “The Thickness” if she wasn’t such a tease.

2. Being two hours late to your own surprise birthday party. When Roger was tardy to his surprise shindig earlier this season, JWOWW was scary pissed. Talk about a waste of good cardboard party hats.

3. Pauly D’s stalker’s dead stare. Vanessa the Stalker needs to go find her own friends. Period.

4. Anthony, the pervy not-so-handyman. Zebra-print curtains do not mix well with scandalous stories about sex and poop. Snooki & JWOWW learned that the hard way when they first hired–and then quickly fired–Anthony the not-so-handyman.

5. Deena’s drunk crying. We love ourselves a good Meatball Day, but we hate to see the Deenster so sad…as she’s been for most of Season 6. Chin up, D!

6. Showing your koo-kah in public, on purpose. A former “Jersey Shore” cast mate (yes, that one) was recently caught letting it all hang out in Sin City.

7. Tweeting incriminating photos of your lover. Roger got acquainted with the doghouse after publicizing a sleeping Jenni in her natural state. Major boyfriend fail.

8. Bickering with your bestie. Be it Jenni and Snooki duking it out in the street or Ronnie throwing a bed, fighting with those you care about most is lame. Love each other like every day is Sunday Dinner!

9. Making it official in the first place with a Shirt Under The Shirt. Let’s be honest, Mike’s “Let’s Make It Official” T-shirt was just a breakup waiting to happen.

10. No more seasons of “Jersey Shore.” With just a few episodes left, we’ve been crying ourselves to sleep, like, every single night.

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