A Little Help For Our ‘Inbetweeners’ Friends: On Parcels Of Poop And A Spiritual Makeout Sesh

Those four naive boys comprising “The Inbetweeners” are entertaining without a doubt, but sometimes you just want to throw ‘em a helping hand, or the world’s largest lifeboat, to rescue them from death by humiliation. Each week, we’re spotlighting the guys’ most embarrassing moments from the current episode, and detailing how someone a teensy bit smoother might’ve wiggled their way out of the situation. Consider it a service to you, dear reader, so you never have to endure the same kind of ongoing shame.

The scenario: Simon is a giddy mess when he finds out Carly‘s family is staying over while her house gets fumigated…until he remembers his bedroom is more playpen than sex den. The guys come over to fix it, but wind up creating a wallpaper-less, crack house-adjacent dungeon.

The takeaway: A bare mattress is more manly than a race car bed, sure, but Simon, no girl is going to be lured away from her boyfriend with that depressing space. Nice sheets, dim lighting and a feminine touch speak volumes and demonstrate that you’re open to the emotional needs of the ladies. Frankly, we’re surprised the guys didn’t wind up planting a perfectly inconspicuous open box of Magnums on one of the shelves, but it’s probably for the best.

The scenario: Damien won’t leave our favorite man-in-a-boy’s-body alone and taunts ol’ William incessantly. Will’s solution: Hand the bully a briefcase full of his own excrement so that Damien will literally get the sh** end during his daily bag-steal. It seems fool-proof, until Mr. Gilbert interrupts the perfectly planned fiasco to discipline Damien, and Will is left alone with a bag full of his own poop.

The takeaway: We don’t typically turn to cliches as means of advice, but if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Will could easily find out which locker is Damien’s and break in. If Damien couldn’t receive the gift in person, the very least Will could do is make sure he gets it by the early afternoon.

 

The scenario: While nestled in Simon’s candle-filled room, Carly lays her friend down on his bed to experiment…with Astral projection. She tries to get her childhood bestie to relax so he can leave his physical body and experience his spiritual one, but instead, he springs up and kisses her. And with that, the family slumber party comes to an abrupt end.

The takeaway: Applause and celebration all around! Simon, this is how it’s done. This chick is mad crazy if she doesn’t realize she had inadvertently been sexing you up. Candles? Mattresses? Out of body experiences?! She’s put you between a renob and a hard place, and it’s not your fault for finally making a move. If you had the love of your life in your grasp and didn’t go for it, we’d pin you down and tease you from here ’til tomorrow’s homeroom. Big ups, friend. It may not have worked this time, but we’re betting on ya in the future.

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