Snooki’s aboard the peace train.
Nicole and Jionni have been posting some too-cute Twitpics the past few days, and while their looooove has been flowin’ like shots at the “Shore” house, that adoration train is about to pull into the station and pick up an even bigger bundle of joy. The pregnant half of “Snooki & JWOWW” is seriously thisclose to poppin’ out Baby Lorenzo, and while she’s beyond excited to finally hold that mini meatball in her arms, she’s also probably scared s**tless.
We here at Remote Control can barely keep a plant alive, never mind a baby, so we looked to some celebrity mommies who have succeeded…and failed…at their early parenting duties. Here, some dos and don’ts for the post-partum world based on stars who are
just not like us!
Don’t do everything for your kidlet: Snooks is bound to love her baby more than stuffed crocodiles and pickles combined, but our fake bling-clad fingers are crossed she won’t go as far as Alicia Silverstone did when she fed her son like a bird. Just in case you need a refresher course on what happens out there in the tops of trees, allow us to elaborate: The “Clueless” star chomped up his food and spit it into Baby Bear Blu’s mouth. Why’s she so mad at spoons?
Do trademark your kid’s name: A little much for the rest of us, sure, but this is Snooki and Jionni’s “Shore” spawn we’re talking about here. Beyonce and Jay had their baby’s name on lock a few weeks after announcing their newborn to the world, and from the success of Suri’s Burn Book (and its book deal, what!), it’s not such a bad idea. We may be left kissing our Blue Ivy Carter Blueberry Pie mass-production dreams goodbye, but Hova and B’s brilliance when it comes to celebrity tot legalese is to be admired. After all, we wouldn’t want any ol’ juicehead making big bucks off of Lorenzo Polizzi meatball onesies!
Don’t force your kid to take part in your own obsessions: We know Nicole obviously isn’t plopping her tot in a tanning booth or a manicurist’s chair anywhere in the near or distant future, but some other celebs–like, say, the original Material Girl–sorta kinda use momhood as an opportunity to mold a mini version of themselves. Madonna supposedly gave ex-husband Guy Ritchie a list of visitation rules for when he spends time with his son, including him only being allowed to eat macrobiotic, vegetarian, organic foods and drink Kabbalah water. Poor child must be really hungry.
Do–or don’t–eat your baby’s placenta: We’re pretty torn on this one, mostly because, ick, placenta! On one hand, it’s as gross as the floors at Karma at the end of the summer, but on the other, it’s supposedly what got January Jones back into fighting shape so quickly. And, let’s not forget–she’s married to Don Draper on the television! Our solution? Deep fry it, mix it in with some onion rings and give it a go. Betcha it’ll taste just like chicken!
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Photo courtesy of @Snooki