MTV’s newest resident sex and relationship guru Dan Savage is trekking across the country to enlighten America’s coeds and help them better understand the sexual culture that exists today. But what happens once Dan offers his pearls of wisdom to the eager undergrad? We usually don’t get to see the students put his advice into practice, but luckily our own MTV family members can show us all how it’s done. This week’s advice in action: Be open about your sexual history.
On last week’s “Savage U,” our sex and relationship pros made their way down the West Coast to share their expertise with University of California at Irvine students, whom they assumed would be in permanent vacation mode–after all, the campus is across the street from the beach! However, after chit-chatting with a bunch of undergrads it became crystal clear that the Anteaters (Irvine’s
unconventional mascot) were a more work hard, play soft kind of people. In other words, studying trumped partying. Lucky for UCutie (see what we did there?) Taylor, this surprising realization didn’t stop Dan and Lauren from doling out some precious advice.
Taylor confided in them that ever since she and her new bf exchanged total sex partner tallies, things had become supes awkward (her boo’s banging background was extensive). After unsuccessfully trying not to cringe, Dan advised Tay not to be threatened by her man’s past. According to him, both she and her partner had a right to know about each other’s pasts, and there was nothing wrong with offering up a rough outline of her sexual history. Watch the clip:
We totally understand why Taylor initiated a number swap, and we also get why she felt weird afterward. We’re almost positive that if she takes Dan’s tips and gives it time, she’ll realize that a number is just that. After all, the boyfriend is with HER now, not any of the other biddies from his past.
Speaking of revealing complicated sexual histories…there’s no better case in the MTV family of how–and how not–to handle it than that of our favorite Sin City pair, Dustin and Heather. From the moment he arrived at the “Real World Las Vegas” pad, Dustin was upfront–with the audience, at least–about his past in amateur gay porn. He wasn’t so open, however, with housemate/eff buddy/pseudo-girlfriend Heather. After reading a what-had-to-be-mortifying email from her mom, and following it up with the necessary Google search, Heather confronted Zito about his big secret. It wasn’t pretty at first.
A few tear-soaked convos and some “I’m going to leave the house” threats later, Heather saw the light and realized that, despite his past, Dustin was a keeper. Her initial reaction to the confession was warranted, but she exemplified this week’s “Savage U” lesson by ultimately accepting that Dustin’s past experiences with men ultimately shaped him into the man he was with her; and last we heard, the two are still enjoying their happily ever after.
White lies are OK when it comes to revealing aspects of your sexual past. But, as Dustin learned the hard way after his porn-y secret blew up in his face, it’s easier to control people’s reactions if you can release the info on your own terms. Taylor and her boyfriend made a conscious choice to share their list of previous partners, and once the exchange took place it was up to Tay to deal with the aftermath of her decision. She should remind herself that without his earlier experiences, her bf might not have realized that she’s Ms. Right. Once Taylor accepts that she is the destination, and not one of the rest stops along the way, her man’s list of flings will seem as insignificant as the girls themselves.
+ Tune in for an all-new episode of “Savage U” tonight at 11:30/10:30c.
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