MTV’s resident sex and relationship guru Dan Savage is trekking across the country to enlighten America’s coeds and help them better understand the sexual culture that exists today. But what happens once Dan offers his pearls of wisdom to the eager undergrad? We usually don’t get to see the students put his advice into practice, but luckily our own MTV family members can show us all how it’s done. This week’s advice in action: Break a heart to save it.
After spending some weeks doling advice down South, Dan and Lauren took their college tour up and over to the University Of Oregon. Our “Savage U” sex gurus wasted no time getting ducked up on quack with students on campus, and learned what it meant to make a true “O” face (one that even Dan wasn’t familiar with). The pair navigated their way through the hordes of hippies and snowboarders and bike riders (oh my!) to help a guy with a boring fiance, a girl with a masturbation problem and Ryan, a nice(?) guy trying to juggle studying, partying and, oh yeah, his ex.
Ryan and his high school GF did the typical “break up after graduation to do the college thing” thing, or so he thought. Turns out Ryan’s ex followed him to the U of O, and they continued to hook up without DTR’ing. Our guy Ry wanted to date other girls, but the history with his ex (and the fact that she was a sure thing most nights) made it difficult for him to cut her off completely. Dan’s advice for this dilemma was simple and finite: END IT! Professor Savage told Ryan that sleeping with his ex–without any desire to be her boyfriend again–was cruel, and that he was making it impossible for her to move on with her life. In order to save her heart, Ryan would have to break it. Watch the clip:
Ryan will always have an emotional connection to his high school sweetheart, but that doesn’t mean he should keep the physical part alive too. If he can step up to the plate and be honest with his former flame, it’ll be the best thing for both of them in the long run. Ryan might still love his ex, but he’s definitely not still IN love with her, and she deserves to know it.
When a girl (or guy) throws herself (or himself) at you late-night, it’s not easy to refuse, but sometimes it has to be done. No one knows that better than MTV’s own Vinny Guadagnino, part fist-pumping player, part sensitive romantic. When Snooki tried to smush Vin in Season 3 of “Jersey Shore,” our man made a decision with his head and conscience, and not his pecker.
Snooks and Vinny have always had chemistry, and before Jionni came into the picture, they’d even had some intense, ahem, cuddle sessions. It was all fun and games until Snooki realized that she was developing real feelings for Vin. When the spunky guidette came home from the club drunk and alone one night, she decided to end her party in Vinny’s bed, but after a short spoon sesh and a sweet forehead kiss, Vin resisted Nicole’s advances and refused to get it in. He warned her that sleeping together wasn’t really what she wanted, and told her they should talk about their relationship after sobering up. Vinny wasn’t comfortable leading Snooki on; their friendship was more important to him than some temporary pleasure from a quickie.
Sex can’t be “just sex” if feelings are involved, especially if a history exists. The longer you lead someone on, the more invested they become and the harder it will be for that person to move on. It’s actually crueler to stay in a dysfunctional pairing than it is to break it off cleanly. “Break her heart” might sound like unconventional advice, but as is the case with many of the lessons taught at “Savage U,” honesty is still the best policy.
+ Tune in for an all-new episode of “Savage U” tonight at midnight.
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