The twentysomething Brooklynites of "I Just Want My Pants Back" might be masters of witty banter, but their actions speak louder than words--and their actions are often questionable. We're taking a look at the most amateurish (yet awesome) behavior exhibited each week, and keeping a running tally of who's least likely to ever ditch the training wheels and leave the borough's squalor behind them.
JASON: Just when it looked as if Tina's reign over the Olympics would last forever, Jason's desperation for cash edged his best friend out and earned him top honors. With the sting of unemployment still festering, J turned to a cleaning service position to earn some much-needed money. While there's no shame in soaping dirty dishes and pressing the wrinkles out of sheets, the guy ultimately realized he was getting paid to sex up the apartment's lone occupant. He eventually came to his senses and put his foot down, but there was a point at which Jason was acting consciously as a prostitute.
AMATEUR STANDING: GOLD
TINA: When Tina realized she had a condition...down there...she consulted her med school student friend, Eric, for a diagnosis. He regretfully informed her she had the "little c," and told her to suck up her pride, notify her former sexual partners of her condition and recommend they get tested. But it wasn't until after she made an erotic drawing with ketchup and mustard for her non-English-speaking former hookup that Eric realized he was wrong--Tina just had a rash from wearing too-tight denim. The perils of skinny jeans are boundless.
AMATEUR STANDING: SILVER
EVERYONE EXCEPT FOR BOBBY: Tina can't afford her rent, Jason is still jobless, and Eric and Stacey still swim in a pool of postgrad debt. No matter their financial strains, though, each can be spotted at any point with an overpriced bar-bought beer, cafe-bought iced latte or deli-made sandwich in hand. No, we're not advocating starvation, but that French Press next to the sink is collecting dust and subsidized cheese might mean the difference between renting and crashing on your friend's bed. Guys, clip some coupons and go to the grocery store. Seriously.
AMATEUR STANDING: BRONZE
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