Last week, we wondered which Hollywood stars were equipped with the right amount of hair gel and tanning spray to take on roles as the “Jersey Shore” cast in a (fictional) film, and while we’re not sure if it prompted Vin Diesel to hit up his agent for an audition, our minds began to wander further as we thought of a few cartoon characters that might be better suited for the parts. Here, eight 2-D people (and one meatball) we believe could accurately portray some of Seaside’s finest.
PAULY D AS BART SIMPSON
If stalkers existed during the time when the rebellious son of Homer and Marge ruled the school, he surely would have had some fanatical “Bartmania” followers like Vanessa. And, of course, there’s the identical blowout.
DEENA AS MEATWAD
Arguably one of the funniest characters on Adult Swim’s “Aqua Teen Hunger Force,” the delectable ball of ground beef rolled around much like the way Deena does after one of her famous wipeouts.
JWOWW AS POCAHONTAS
Jenni is as free-spirited as the Disney princess, not to mention, they both have serious bonds with animals–remember how important it was for JWOWW to rescue her dogs after her breakup with then-boyfriend Tom? They also seem to share a similar cup size.
SNOOKI AS ‘SOUTH PARK’ SNOOKI
While Snooks has traded in her leopard-skin house slippers for furry boots, she’s still publicly urinating like the red-nosed rabid hunchback character Comedy Central’s “South Park” created.
RONNIE AND SAM AS ARCHIE AND VERONICA
Once part a goofy love triangle, Archie and his sexy brunette girlfriend, Veronica, finally wed, which was something many fans were hoping for. No word yet if Sam and Ronnie are eventually headed that way, but they’re definitely the “it” couple in Seaside.
VINNY AS STEWIE GRIFFIN
Baby Stewie is sophisticated far beyond his years, and while Vin is the youngest guido in Seaside, he’s proven himself as the wise one, avoiding trouble and taking the necessary time away to work on himself.
MIKE AS STERLING ARCHER
The world’s most dangerous secret agent is a master of martial arts, and it just so happens that Sitch is, too. You couldn’t have possibly forgotten about Mike’s karate routines in Florence, right? Plus, it doesn’t hurt that both men are smush-crazed.
Dig Remote Control? Follow us on Twitter, like, now.
Photos: Emily Shur, Troy Rizzo/Getty Images