Applicable cliche: Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.
On last night’s “Jersey Shore,” Seaside Heights’ finest four females were in the market for some extra special talent to perform at a surprise birthday party for Pauly D and “The Situation.” While this would amount to the hiring of a throwback cover band or fire-eaters for most, it meant strippers with sock-specific obsessive compulsive disorder for Sammi, JWOWW and the meatballs. And if you want the best exotic dancers coastal New Jersey has to offer, you go to one man, and one man alone: the Wizard of Ass.
The man with a knockoff soccer jersey and an apparent fetish for wheelchairs got a little too into the nitty-gritty of his employees’ performance. By the time he suggested routines that included belt slaps and the pulling down of pants, Sammi was noticeably uncomfortable, but social media users were eating “The Wiz” up. The dude who pleaded the fifth when asked if he slept with his payroll shot up to the No. 1 trending topic on Twitter and stayed there for awhile.
JWOWW thought he would’ve been better off directing pornos, but here’s what fans of the “Shore” had to say about the Wizard of Ass:
“I believe the title Wizard of Ass is handed down through the generations like Counts and whatnot in Europe.” — @H_Ram
“Wizard of Ass needs to hire nicer strippers. Girl was crazy.” — @BiaFundora
“Can’t decide if ‘Wizard of Ass’ is a great stripper supervisor name or awkward even when it comes to strippers. #JerseyShore Questions.” — @KassataEdwards
“Wizard of Ass? Yeah you know, cause instead of clickin’ heels we’ll be KNOCKIN’ BOOTS!!! YEAH!” — @WorkaholicsCC
“I hope whoever is planning my next party gets the girls from The Wizard of Ass!” — @CTBurners
“I don’t know why “Wizard of Ass” is trending, but I wholeheartedly approve!” — @DrewCage
+ Let us know your thoughts on the most mystical exotic dancer provider in the tristate area, and add to the conversation on Twitter!
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