It is a sad, sad day across the MTV board–not only did we lose Whitney Port and Vinny Guadagnino to sudden, violent explosions, but our two favorite nitwits, Beavis and Butt-Head, are peacing out (well, for now at least) after Season 9 of their show concludes in a matter of hours. And while Thursday nights certainly won’t be the same without the real-life bobbleheads, their exit was certainly not a quiet one, and none of their public indecencies in Episode 12 disappointed.
B&B survived being trapped in an elevator and a security guard’s corporal punishment at a women’s health clinic, but even being Tased into submission couldn’t prevent the pair from uttering some real winners–here are our favorite quotes from the dozenth episode, in which the two confused a place that offers abortions for one that offers sex-for-pay:
“Woah, Beavis–it’s your mom!”
— Butt-Head, in reference to a young male skater.
“How many is a billion?”
“Uhh, I think it’s, like, a million?”
— Beavis and Butt-Head.
“Please step back onto the sidewalk.”
“Uhh, we know the owner.”
— A security guard stops Beavis and Butt-Head–who carry picket signs–from entering a women’s health clinic, but the two still try to get in, as they think it’s a brothel.
“Heh. We’re gonna be fornicators.”
— Butt-Head to Beavis, as the friends finally get the chance to enter the clinic.
“Are you one of the ones that, like, does it?”
— Butt-Head, to a clinic receptionist.
“Heh, going down.”
— Beavis and Butt-Head roar with laughter after an elevator’s notice.
“I’m getting kind of tired, can we switch?”
“You dumbass–it won’t work that way. Don’t you know anything about making love?”
— Beavis and Butt-Head, convinced a woman who’s abandoned them is going to have sex with them.
“This elevator is stupid.”
“Yeah, and it’s stuck, too!”
— Butt-Head and Beavis, on being trapped.
“I’m gonna eat your leg first, ’cause I’m hungrier.”
“But before I eat your leg, I’m going to have to kill you.”
— Butt-Head considers cannibalism as a means to survive and looks to Beavis for nourishment.
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