Notable Quotes From ‘Beavis And Butt-Head,’ Episode 12

It is a sad, sad day across the MTV board–not only did we lose Whitney Port and Vinny Guadagnino to sudden, violent explosions, but our two favorite nitwits, Beavis and Butt-Head, are peacing out (well, for now at least) after Season 9 of their show concludes in a matter of hours. And while Thursday nights certainly won’t be the same without the real-life bobbleheads, their exit was certainly not a quiet one, and none of their public indecencies in Episode 12 disappointed.

B&B survived being trapped in an elevator and a security guard’s corporal punishment at a women’s health clinic, but even being Tased into submission couldn’t prevent the pair from uttering some real winners–here are our favorite quotes from the dozenth episode, in which the two confused a place that offers abortions for one that offers sex-for-pay:

“Woah, Beavis–it’s your mom!”
Butt-Head, in reference to a young male skater.

“How many is a billion?”
“Uhh, I think it’s, like, a million?”
Beavis and Butt-Head.

“Please step back onto the sidewalk.”
“Uhh, we know the owner.”
A security guard stops Beavis and Butt-Head–who carry picket signs–from entering a women’s health clinic, but the two still try to get in, as they think it’s a brothel.

“Heh. We’re gonna be fornicators.”
Butt-Head to Beavis, as the friends finally get the chance to enter the clinic.

“Are you one of the ones that, like, does it?”
Butt-Head, to a clinic receptionist.

“Heh, going down.”
Beavis and Butt-Head roar with laughter after an elevator’s notice.

“I’m getting kind of tired, can we switch?”
“You dumbass–it won’t work that way. Don’t you know anything about making love?”
Beavis and Butt-Head, convinced a woman who’s abandoned them is going to have sex with them.

“This elevator is stupid.”
“Yeah, and it’s stuck, too!”
Butt-Head and Beavis, on being trapped.

“I’m gonna eat your leg first, ’cause I’m hungrier.”
“Uhh, OK.”
“But before I eat your leg, I’m going to have to kill you.”
Butt-Head considers cannibalism as a means to survive and looks to Beavis for nourishment.

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