Notable Quotes From ‘Beavis And Butt-Head,’ Episodes 9 And 10

Fans of “Beavis And Butt-Head” got a blast from the past when the ’90s series was rebooted earlier this year, and the two nitwits got to experience a bit of time travel themselves on one of tonight’s all-new episodes. When the best buds mistook a historic plantation as indication that they’d traveled back to the 19th century, they wasted no time lamenting the state of things, devising plans to keep their teacher from being born and confusing the early 1800s with the Mesozoic era.

When B&B grew tired of butter-churning and silversmiths, they were still able to summon the energy required to crash cars, start a business and…hunt down President Obama. Check out some of our favorite quotes from episodes 9 and 10:

“Today, and today only, I can offer you 0 percent down.”
“Woah, really? We have zero!”
Butt-Head to a car salesman.

“God gave her that body?”
“God’s like, ‘Don’t drag me into this.’ ”
Beavis And Butt-Head in response to a mother featured in “True Life: I Have Embarrassing Parents 2,” who flaunts her body and says God gave it to her.

“Now you just stay in your room while your mom goes downstairs and does it with all your friends.”
Butt-Head, mocking the mother disciplining her child.

“Uhh, I’ll take, like, $250 from you to take this car, but that’s, like, my final offer.”
Butt-Head’s attempt to haggle with a car salesman.

“Driving rules!”
Beavis, after Butt-Head crashes a car into a building.

“Remember when you asked that waitress at the Olive Garden to dance? And then she slapped you and the manager threw you out?”
–- Butt-Head brings up a sensitive memory to Beavis.

“Well, there’s the pictures of the criminals. We need to kick their asses and haul them downtown. Look at ‘em.”

“Yeah, scum of the earth.”
Beavis and Butt-Head decide to be bounty hunters and confuse a photo of President Obama for a hardened criminal.

“Dammit, Europe’s, like, way over in Russia, or something.”
Butt-Head, on the implausibility of tracking Obama down while he’s out of the country.

“God is great, God is good and we thank him for our food.”
Butt-Head’s battle cry as he preps to attack students, whom he also confuses for criminals.

“OK, that’s adding and abetting.”
Butt-Head, to a karate teacher who protects his students from the two nitwits.

“Heh. White People.”
Butt-Head, in reference to the music video for Avi Buffalo’s “What’s In It For?”

“Downtown is a few blocks. Might be easier if you ride in my cart.”
“Tell it to the judge!”
Beavis responds to a homeless man who’s trying to help him and Butt-Head.

“1832? That’s, like, not now.”
Butt-Head, on history.

“I wonder if we’re gonna see dinosaurs. That would be cool.”
“Beavis, you dumbass–dinosaurs haven’t been invented yet.”
– Beavis and Butt-Head, who think they’ve traveled back in time, wonder what they might encounter on a 19th century plantation.

“Uhh, hark! Or something. Wuss.”
Butt-Head, greeting Mr. Van Driessen.

“He’s like: ‘I was just back in the teacher’s lounge grading papers. What’s going on out here?’ ”
Butt-Head, on why Lil’ Wayne is featured in Porcelain Black’s music video, which was filmed in a high school gym.

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