Snooki and Pauly D get close at the 2011 MTV Video Music Awards.
Perhaps a partridge in a pear tree meant something special in olden times, but the "12 Days of Christmas" has been in dire need of an overhaul since the 19th century. Thankfully, Snooki is lending the tune some new ideas about what one's "true love" might need during the holiday season, and it includes fake eyelashes, sunglasses with jewels on them and even a dinner with the "Jersey Shore" guidette in New York City. Festivus!
Snooks is rewarding her most loyal fans with a dozen days' worth of gifts between now and Dec. 15. The volume of prizes will decrease until the days go on, until one ultimate contest entrant will earn a date with the meatball herself. And since Snooki's a rose like no other, we've compiled some tips for the winner so they can make the most out of their special evening:
1. Plan Ahead: Does the restaurant serve pickles as a starter course? Will Nicole's 5-inch high bowling shoes have difficulty navigating a narrow staircase? Make sure she-with-the-pouf has the comforts of Seaside Heights at the venue of your choosing, and if all else fails, have Ruby Tuesday's on speed dial.
2. Keep Conversation Light: Take notes from Snooki's BFF, JWOWW, and discuss something that won't freak the girl out--like doing it near a church or atop a skyscraper. This says: I have some religious conviction but am still breezy enough to veer off scripture. A friendship is sure to follow, and while we're at it...
3. Don't Get Romantic: While the winner should have fun, it is important to remain mindful that things can't go beyond the platonic. If it's a dude that gets the date, remember: no funny business, lest Jionni pack up his things and fly half way around the world out of spite. Don't be a homewrecker, and keep those underwears on, even if it takes a chastity belt to achieve it.
Dig Remote Control? Follow us on Twitter, like, now.
Photo: Christopher Polk/Getty Images