Beavis And Butt-Head On ‘The Muppets’

Beavis And Butt-Head always have a unique perspective on pop culture trends and happenings (whatever it is, it’s “stupid,” no matter what). And since we’re pretty fond of imitating their gruff banter, we’re being so bold as to craft an imaginary page out of an imaginary episode’s script. This week, we’re taking on how we think the guys might react to “The Muppets,” which hit theaters on Thanksgiving…

Beavis and Butt-Head approach the couch with chili dogs, sit down and turn on the TV. A trailer for “The Muppets” pops up during a commercial break.

Beavis

Wait, is this “Dexter? Where are all the hot, naked chicks with, like, forehead gashes, or whatever?

Butt-Head

Uhh I don’t know, Beavis. But the headline that reads “The Muppets” makes me think we’re watching a trailer for “The Muppets.” Dumbass.

Beavis

Oh, heh–right. You know, Miss Piggy never really did it for me in the “Caper,” but she’s looking pretty good these days.

Butt-Head

Uhh, she’s, like, a pig, Beavis. You can’t like, do it with an animal. Plus she’s, like, into Kermit, or whatever.

Beavis

Well, I’m, like, into boobs, and she’s got enough to, like, feed six or eight kids. Or, like, 12, I think?

Butt-Head

Woah–a dozen boobs? That’s, like, one for every month. Maybe we could, like, ask her boobs for their thoughts on astrology? Like, ‘Dear boob, what does the great Leo hold for me today?’ And it’s like, ‘I’m not sure, but, like, look no further than my perky friend to the right, who should have the answers you seek.’

Beavis

Heh. Boobs. Wait, so, is Alf a Muppet?

Butt-Head

No, he’s, like, an alien.

Beavis

But, like, Willow Smith is?

Butt-Head

Uhh, right. Yeah, she’s one, but only kind of, right? Sort of like: Cookie Monster is, like, kind of a Muppet, but, like Gonzo is more of one. And like, Willow is less of one than Gonzo and probably the same amount of one as Cookie Monster.

Beavis

Right, right.

Butt-Head

Ugh, Amy Adams. Like, spare me your do-gooder act.

Beavis

Yeah, let’s, like, totally leave before she starts a sing-along.

Beavis and Butt-Head turn off the TV and leave the room.

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Photos: MTV.com, Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images