15 Things Remote Control Is Thankful For This Holiday Season

Another year, another giant list of shtuff that made it worth our while not to call in sick…

1. First and foremost, we’re thankful for the basics: food, water, shelter, fist-pimps, push-ups and ChapStick.

And, that…

2. The return of “Beavis and Butt-Head” has made it acceptable to repeatedly mumble out loud, “This sucks.”

3. The teen birth rate is down 9 percent. Maybe someday MTV won’t have to air shows like “Teen Mom” to point out how much of a struggle it is for young people to parent.

4. Snooki‘s skin hue has become a matter of national importance, meaning this blog is thriving.

5. Speidi have gone on the DL. Now let’s work on those Kardashians

6. Life-size stuffed animals have made a comeback.

7. Many of MTV’s male cast members and characters decided it was rarely necessary to wear shirts.

8. Luigi, The World’s Oldest Gym Rat, lives!

9. Pauly and Vinny‘s openness about their love affair has served as inspiration for closeted guidos everywhere.

10.Awkward” high school bully Sadie Saxton actually shut up for two minutes.

11. There are Crumbs Bake Shop cupcakes in the conference room on the last Friday of every month. (Special shout-out goes to our 17th floor office manager, Keely Gordon!)

12. We spotted Al Sharpton in the lobby over the summer, presumably at MTV to pitch “True Life: I’m a Civil Rights Activist and Occasional ‘Law and Order’ Guest Star.”

13. Hipster backlash is in full throttle.

14. The Susan Lucci of MTV, Paula Walnuts, FINALLY won a “Challenge“!

15. We have so many loyal readers, without whom we’d have no motivation to improve our writing. Your constructive criticism is always most appreciated, even if it sometimes makes us cry.

Dig Remote Control? Follow us on Twitter, like, now.