When Beavis and Butt-Head weren’t stuffing their mouths full of Burger World value meals (and unintentionally contributing to social dialogue surrounding teenage obesity), they had a whole bunch to say on tonight’s episode, punctuated by possible asthma onsets and staccato, spit-laced laughter. The two nitwits accidentally cut down multinational corporations, made a case for eating in the bathroom and still had time to mock hardworking fathers that provide their teens with lavish “Cribs.”
Here are some of our favorite Beavis and Butt-Head quotes from Episode 5.
“I had to buy a waterfall and a wood slide. I had to work my whole damn life to pay for all this crap.”
— Butt-Head, mocking a father on “Teen Cribs.”
— Butt-Head, in reference to his plan to entice women by only eating fast food.
“So what made you want to shine a light on the issue of teen obesity?”
“Uhh, we wanted to get famous and score. So we, like, ate a lot of Burger World food.”
— A classmate and filmmaker, Martin, asks Beavis why he’s only eating fast food for 30 days.
“Teen obesity kicks ass.”
“Hey, Beavis! I just thought of something. I’m at work, but, like, I wasn’t working. I just got paid to take a dump.”
— Butt-Head, after returning from a bathroom break at Burger World.
“I’ll have a coffee.”
— An old woman at the drive-through, whose request is met by the sound of a toilet flushing.
“Is that Christ?”
— Beavis, pointing out a shaggy man in a music video.
“That Christ is something else. I didn’t know he had it in him.”
— Beavis, on the possibility that Jesus Christ could speak Spanish.
“These damn people won’t stop bothering us. How are we supposed to earn a living?”
— Butt-Head, who’s hiding out in the bathroom, on serving customers.
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