How To Unsuccessfully Avoid Jail, As Seen On ‘Cuff’d’

A drunken flurry of young Southerners from Tennessee to the Florida Keys found themselves on the wrong side of the law on tonight’s “Cuff’dpremiere. Whether they were booked for driving under the influence (and without headlights, naturally) or throwing hammers at hecklers (what, you don’t?), they each shared a single commonality: They wanted to avoid jail time, and they would do whatever possible to get out of their desperate situation.

For example, aspiring massage therapist Brandy played the sympathy card. After screaming at the officer who slapped on the cuffs and describing the 17 drinks she’d consumed, she recounted a tale of a cheating ex-boyfriend in hopes of tugging at the officer’s heartstrings. Somewhere else, Hooters brawl-starter Hope slipped out of her metal restraints and tried to escape the police car before getting a healthy helping of mace, and Dan thought pleading with the cops to put him out of his misery (easy, dude) was his best shot at freedom. Ultimately, each failed miserably.

+ For those of you who watched these servings of justice, what would you consider the most illogical way to evade the clink? Take the poll!

What’s the worst way to avoid arrest?

  • Show no mercy like Hope.
        10%
  • Tell a sob story like Brandy.
        6%
  • Insult an officer’s yearly income like Dan.
        11%
  • Freak them the funk out like Pinkie.
        73%

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