‘Jersey Shore’ Episode 5, Season 4: Sitch Goes Down Fighting (Himself)

Ambulances and hospitals are no laughing matter, but c’mon, admit it, you were laughing your Abercrombie & Fitch American Eagle sweats off during tonight’s special sneak episode of “Jersey Shore” when “The Situation” knocked himself out during a fight with Ronnie a 600-year-old wall. Poor guy was presumably trying to psych himself up for the fight of his life and intimidate his hulking opponent, but he seriously underestimated the power of concrete and landed flat on a stretcher. Luckily, Mike only suffered a mild concussion and neck sprain, but doctor’s orders had him sulking around his bedroom for the rest of the show wearing a neck brace and sunglasses, with no promise of GTL in sight.

In other plotlines, Ronnie considered leaving the Florence house for one brief second until his pal Vinny ‘Nostradamus’ Guadagnino got him back on the zen track. (We’d also like to give props to Ron Sr.–who wethinks recently had a chance encounter with self-help bible “Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff”–for offering his son the sage “Wherever you go, there you are.” So true.) Ron took a long, contemplative walk around the city, cleared his head and promptly went back to messing with Sammi‘s emotions. Note to all men: Flowers aren’t really a sweet gesture if they’re dumped on the bed with a “Don’t say I never did anything for you.”

Perhaps the best part of the episode was when some rail-thin clubgoers from the tough streets of Florence stepped to Pauly D with a rather repetitive message that the cast is not in Kansas Seaside Heights anymore. Where are JWOWW‘s guns when you really need her?

Anywho, you’re probably wondering where you can find the episode online, and we’re just gonna have to give it to you straight. Rip the Band-Aid right off, as they say. So yeah, we don’t have it. This entire post was an effed up tease to those of you who missed out on the show tonight–ya gotta wait ’til Thursday night at 10/9c in order to see it. Sorry, sneak episodes can be both a blessing and a curse.

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