So Kim Kardashian married that basketball dude this weekend, and in light of their totally over-the-top nuptials, we thought it would be fun to conjure up a phony Big Day for the King and Queen of "Jersey Shore": SamRon. Here's what we anticipate it will look like...if they make it to the altar without killing each other first.
Color Scheme
Kim and Kris insisted that their guests only wear black and white, but to fit SamRon's flashier style better, they would request neon as their preferred hue. Picture color-coordinated kicks and cumberbuns, hot pink sunnies and for the women, fluorescent underthings ever-so-slightly peeping out of their tube dresses.
The Bridal Party
Whereas Kim's sisters could have easily been mistaken for the bride in their ivory mermaid-style gowns, Snooki, JWOWW and Deena would be asked to wear leopard-skin patterns and nothing draping below the knee thigh.
The Food
Kim and Kris's hors d'oeuvres and dinner were catered by the famed West Coast chef, Wolfgang Puck, so it would only make sense for SamRon to hire New Jersey fav, Muscle Maker Grill, to provide everyone with lean grilled chicken and protein shakes. K&K also had a 6-foot tall black-and-white wedding cake rumored to cost upwards of 25k, because, well, why not? SamRon might instead choose an ice luge filled with RonRon Juice.
The Gift Bags
Word on the street is that guests of the Kardashian wedding left with certificates for Jimmy Choo purchases. As extravagant as that is, sending everyone off with a credit somewhere is a nice touch, so we imagine SamRon could pass out gift cards to American Eagle Outfitters for the dudes (Abercrombie & Fitch's main competition), and the ladies would get credit at Victoria's Secret so they could double-bra it like the bride!
+ What do you think of our SamRon/Kardashian wedding mashup? Sound off in the comments and let us know what you would add to their big day to make their ceremony as big of an event as Kim's!