It started off with the usual less than innocent yet perfectly harmless intentions, but sadly, Snooki and Deena's jaunt to the Point Pleasant Beach on Saturday was pretty much over before they could break out the baby oil. Word across the internet is that the chummy guidettes began their field trip at Jenkinson's Club with a few (too many, wethinks) cocktails and dreams, and as sometimes happens during hot summer nights days at the "Jersey Shore" (like last year in Seaside), the party hit the skids and abruptly ended with Snooks crying, stumbling, drooling on a fellow beachgoer's nipple and being escorted off the premises by the Po-Po. Whaaaa!
It's more than likely the scene occurred as a result of too much liquor/too little tolerance, but we can't be positive since we weren't actually there (double whaaaa!). In the highly probable case that Snooks is currently back at the "Shore" house hugging that notoriously filthy toilet bowl, all we can offer up is some advice based on her previous dalliances with daytime drinking: Call your dad and apologize before he sees these pictures! (Sorry, girl, we couldn't help but pull a ton of images that popped up on the wire--you're just so cute when you're about to barf in a cop car.)
Each of these snapshots seems to convey a different yet rather extreme emotion, beautifully highlighting the complexity of Snooki's ongoing (wo)man vs. self struggle. Take a look at the pics, which we've complemented with a completely imagined timeline of the day's events.
Noonish: Snooki arrives at the beach, still able to prance in a straight line.
1pm-ish: She starts to feel dizzy, so an admirer offers her a nonalcoholic beverage. She examines the plastic bottle as if it's an object from ancient civilization.
1:15pm-ish: The water doesn't help much.
1:40pm-ish: Drooling sets in. (Meanwhile, this guy's trying to get her phone number.)
2:00pm-ish: Deena's motherly instinct kicks in.
2:10pm-ish: Deena calls for friggin' backup.
2:20pm-ish: Snooki is rescued by the local police. Hopefully they gave her a lift home and not straight to the drunk tank.
Photos: Je T'aime/Splash News
