Dear "Jersey Shore" Cast,
A month is a long time to be out of the country with no access to your cell phone or the internet, so now that you're fixin' to leave your fun bubble and head back to The States, we thought we'd help you out with a brief rundown of all the gossip items ya missed while off painting the town in your hairy boots and floppy hats. We're sure you'll miss Florence, but hey, there's never a dull moment here in the pop culture capital of the world!
Your welcs and safe travels,
Remote Control
(Former) Congressman Anthony Weiner's Weiner Made The A-List
After accidentally tweeting to 45,000 followers a lewd pic of his nether-region, the press had a field day with Weiner puns (we're obviously not bored with them yet) and revealed after more digging that he had also "improperly associated" with six women for 3 years via Twitter, Facebook and phone. Government officials--including President Obama--suggested he step down from office, which he did with an earnest public apology. Not since John Wayne Bobbit got his Johnson cut off has genitalia gained such national attention.
Kim Kardashian Got Engaged To A Towel Waver
Following in the footsteps of her sister Khloe, Kim K. accepted a marriage proposal from an NBA player. He's not exactly Lamar Odom material on the court, but The Nets' Kris Humphries proved he could provide Kim with the lifestyle she's used to by slipping a 20-plus-carat diamond onto her precious finger. Wonder which is insured for more: the ring or her ass?
Jennifer Aniston Wrecked A Home
After famously stating that what Angelina Jolie did to her marriage with Brad Pitt was "uncool," Jen went and pulled something similar with longshoreman actor Justin Theroux and his girlfriend of 14 years, Heidi Bivens. Justin, not Heidi (but that would be a neat twist), is reportedly now living with the former "Friends" star and the two were recently caught on film sporting matching jewelry. Can you say "mid-life crisis"?
Paris Hilton's Oxygen Series Bombed
Here's one more reality show that can't compete with the "Jersey Shore" ratings. It seems as if Paris Hilton no longer loves it--the premiere of her Oxygen series, "The World According to Paris," drew a meager 409,000 viewers. That's so not hot--"Paris Hilton's My New BFF" performed better! To add insult to injury, reports surfaced yesterday that P. Hilton split with boyfriend of one year, Cy Waits. Will the fickle heiress ever find lasting love? Maybe she and Drew Barrymore should call it day and settle down with each other.
Hef Got Dissed By A Runaway Bunny
Just five days before he was supposed to tie the knot with Crystal Harris, Hugh Hefner took a serious blow to the ego...Harris got cold feet and called off the wedding! The 85-year-old mogul seems to be taking the breakup well--word on the street is that he told her she could keep the $90,000 ring. Not the dog though.
MTV's "Teen Wolf" Premiered
This was a huge event for everyone here at the office, as well the the 2 million plus viewers who tuned in after the "MTV Movie Awards"! We have a feeling you're gonna like the show, mostly because it's obvious the main character Scott takes his GTL very seriously.
Leonardo DiCaprio and Blake Lively Fell In Love In France
It doesn't get much more storybook than two beautiful blonde celebs meeting up overseas and embarking on a whirlwind love affair throughout Paris. Despite rumors that they're already on the fritz, this is kinda the biggest deal couple since Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart.
The World Became Obsessed With Pippa Middleton
Guess people got tired of talking about the royal wedding (finally!), but strangely, they shifted their focus onto Kate Middleton's sister, Pippa. You can't skim a gossip blog without seeing what she ate for breakfast or what brand of shoes she wore on her cricket date. (Pauly: She sounds like a real challenge! You up for it?)
You Got Even More Famous
That old saying "out of sight, out of mind" simply doesn't apply to you guys. Your every move in Italy was catalogued on the web, including Deena's near-death fall and JWOWW's new tattoo. We even developed a "Guido Tracker" here on RC to keep tabs on all your adventures! Fans are more excited than ever to watch the new season premiering in August, and who could blame them?
Photo: Prahl/Mac/Sinky Splash News