XY vs. XX: ‘Shore’ Fans Close The Book On SamRon…For Now

We can all agree that watching the “Jersey Shore” is ridiculous fun, but opinions about the scandalous things that happen each episode tend to run the gamut, especially between genders. So that’s why we started this here “XY vs. XX” column, where every week two college-aged fans of the show (one with boy junk and one with girl junk) will share their shameless take on the latest drams. Check out this week’s feature on Episode 13.

XY Says: So, Season 3 has finally reached its inevitable conclusion, and what can I say? It’s certainly been emotional. Just ask Ronnie. On second thought, it’s probably best if you don’t–he’s a bit sensitive these days.

He’s also a bit preoccupied, what with spending most of his time in the Shore trying to saturate every Ed Hardy shirt in his possession with big blubbering man-tears. He’s got the act of humiliating himself down to a fine art–he’s so good at it that I almost respect him for it.

Unfortunately, Sam and Ron weren’t the only ones rounding off their time with an argument: Vinny and self-proclaimed ‘Blast in a Glass” Deena went at it, too. According to Vin, Deena failed to live up to her part in MVPD, and instead, proved to be something of a co**block, like Angelina. Of course, comparing anyone in the Shore house to Angelina is akin to walking into church, listening to Drowning Pool and taking a steaming dump on the collection plate. It wasn’t long before Vinny found himself on the receiving end of a torrent of abuse from the furious meatball.

All was well the next evening, when Deena showed that she knew the key to a man’s heart by rustling him up a grilled cheese sandwich. It’s nice to know that at least some people in this house know how to end an argument. Unsurprisingly, Sam and Ron left Seaside Heights on bad terms, both of them proclaiming that they were “single.” Yeah, right. The only thing that could keep those two apart is if Sam filed a restraining order…or if Ronnie were neutered. Either way, it’ll make for some good material in Italy!

Paul (aka XY) studied at Birmingham and writes for Coedmagazine.com, the Smush Room of the internets.

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XX Says: Not to get all serious on you, but after laughing at Snooki‘s presidential speech, I couldn’t help but get a little upset about Sam and Ron’s totally effed up relationship.

Obviously we’ve been down this road before. “This road” being the whole “I’m done…for REAL THIS TIME” fight that we’ve seen in nearly every episode since the guidos packed up the Shore house the first time around. Last night just reinforced what I’ve been feeling for a long time but refused to admit because I didn’t want to give those two another thought after they’d dominated yet another episode of my favorite show: Sam is in a horrible relationship.

Ron is a crummy boyfriend. He’s insanely jealous and gets mad at Sam for hanging out with her guy friends. And what does she do? APOLOGIZE. Yes, Sam said some awful things when she was drunk and, yes, Sam did lie about hookin’ up with Arvin (who wouldn’t?), but why should she apologize for hanging out with her boys? And why is everything always her fault?

It broke my heart to see her sitting there, telling Ron she loved him and getting upset when he told her he was done. Not because I like Sam or because I’m sad their relationship is over (on the contrary, I did a little jig), but because the girl doesn’t realize how messed up the whole thing is. Or that she can do better.

I truly hope that when Sammi sat there alone on the porch still littered with her broken Yaffa blocks, she wasn’t shedding a tear for the end of her relationship but rather for the fact that, if she and Ron aren’t together, she probably won’t be invited to Italy for Season 4.

Lauren is the Editor in Chief of CollegeCandy.com, the premiere online lifestyle magazine for college ladies. When she’s not watching “Jersey Shore” marathons, she likes to overanalyze text messages from boys.