Math can be a little shaky for us (shocked to learn that journalists don't love arithmetic?), but it always seemed logical that matching up two reality TV villains would create one big super-meany--an indestructible force, and indivisible by none. (Speidi anyone?)
Thing is, after learning from RadarOnline.com that Angelina Pivarnick and jerkface Justin Rego from "The Bachelorette" (he was kicked off by Ali for having a secret girlfriend) are now dating, we started wondering if perhaps mixing together two rogue characters could cancel each other out the way negative numbers do. Maybe we can eliminate all TV tyrants by multiplying this way? Or we can just hook them up and see what unfolds from there.
Step aside, Cupid, we're playing matchmaker today. Below, five reality villain relationships we think should happen.
Janice Dickinson and Johnny Bananas
Johnny's affinity for speaking his mind might suit Janice nicely, considering the fact that she never knows when to pipe down. Most important, his harsh words will bring her to tears faster than she can say "world's first supermodel." Janice could use a good cry.
Jason Wahler and Omarosa
Lauren Conrad's crummy ex-boyfriend was the original "Hills" heartbreaker, but that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve to find love (at least, that's what we'd imagine Patti Stanger would say). We'd like to pair him up with a strong-minded woman who can keep him in check. Someone like the "Queen of Mean."
Kate Gosselin and Ryan Leslie
Yeah, this suburban mommy of eight has transformed herself into a total MILF, but we think she has it in her to take care of one more kid! Ryan from "Real World: New Orleans" was childish at best, and if he and Kate dated, she'd make sure the only thing he wipes his bum with is Angel Soft toilet paper.
Olivia Palermo and Scott Disick
Catty eye-rolls, bitchy remarks and a predisposition for taking credit for other people's hard work is what's made Olivia a mischief-maker. Yeah, she's still dating mega-hunk Johannes Huebl, but we also think she'd fare well with Kourtney Kardashian's baby daddy, Scott Disick. He's hot-tempered and grumpy, and we'd just die to see the two of them try to outdress each other at Manhattan red carpet events.
Danielle Staub and Puck
Drugs? Supposedly. Prostitution? That's what we hear. This "Real Housewives of New Jersey" babe may live in the suburbs, but don't expect her to come knocking on your door with a stack of freshly baked goodies (unless she knows how to make pot brownies). Can you imagine how amazing it would be if she dated Soap Box King Puck from "Real World: San Francisco"? We can already hear the overwhelming boos from Jerry Springer's studio audience.
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