MTV announced over the summer that a new "guidette" had been added to the Season 3 cast of "Jersey Shore," and we couldn't help but wonder how our brill network knew this Deena Nicole person would make a good addition to the family. Sure, Snooki was already friends with her, plus it's obvious that Deena's a big advocate of showing cleave--but other than that, we were curious to find out what guidelines show production followed when making such a potentially game-changing pick.
All in all, MTV most likely relied on instinct and experience to make their decision, and not some secret formula or a boardwalk séance--but interestingly enough, today a book landed on our desk that presumes to know "101 Ways To Tell If You're A Real Guido." While some of the items were a given ("You start getting ready at 7 to go out at 11"), we have to say, there were at least 13 that truly tickled our funny bone. Check 'em out, and see if you meet the authors' qualifications. (For the record, we do not. And that makes us sorta sad.)
1. You think the perfect meal is a slice and a Coke.
2. You practice your battle skills in the mirror before going to the club.
3. You iron your jeans.
4. You consider your manicurist one of your best friends.
5. You live in your parents' basement even though you graduated 10 years ago.
6. You know the names of all the dancers at the local strip club.
7. You've created a signature drink.
8. You wax every stray hair on your body.
9. You wear a pinkie ring.
10. You've walked home in tears without shoes more times than you can count.
11. You're obsessed with Chapstick and lip gloss.
12. You wear sunglasses at night.
13. You don't get offended when someone calls you a "guido."
+ Agree with the book's assertions? Think you meet their standards? Sound off in the comments!